


Rainy Days

by tzupacabra



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: College AU, F/F, Fluff and Angst, but also kinda wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:47:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21691180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzupacabra/pseuds/tzupacabra
Summary: Everyone is crossed with a decision to make. It so happens that every route leads to more drastic decisions.
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana, Chou Tzuyu/Son Chaeyoung, Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana, Hirai Momo/Myoui Mina, Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon, Minatozaki Sana/Park Jisoo | Jihyo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	Rainy Days

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thank you for taking the time to read this story. I published it about 2/3 years ago (cannot remember due to my pea-sized brain) on AFF. got inspired to write again so boom, here part 1 to many more. this is unedited but i'll work on it as time comes. thank you, once again. -mani

Mina holds tight onto Momo, knowing damn well that her girlfriend is messing with that Sana girl and that she can’t do anything about it. When she saw the pair, holding each other’s arms, laughing, sharing the same ice cream cone… Mina knew. Mina knew that she has lost Momo from the start. Even before their relationship even began, Mina knew. She knew that Momo had messed around with Nayeon during the beginning of their relationship. Momo probably knew that Mina knew too. She just didn’t care and when Mina didn’t even bother to bring it up once, the fire just kept burning. Mina fights herself everyday, her entire existence screams to forget about Momo, to leave her behind and to cut her off. Mina finds it really difficult though, almost impossible.

After all, Mina is deeply in love with Momo.

As they lay with one another, both holding each other tightly, Mina wonders to herself. “When will Momo leave me?”. That’s one of the most important questions Mina has asked herself. Just when?

_I love you._

_So much._

_Please don’t leave me._

Momo’s soft breathing on Mina’s neck makes her hate Momo less and love her more and more. She hates it so much. Knowing that the love of her life can leave her, will leave her, at anytime. Mina knows better, she really does. She knows her heart will be shattered. Irreparable.

Momo mumbles in her sleep and Mina shushes softly, reassuring the sleeping beauty she had in her arms. Funny how someone that needs the most reassurance is reassuring someone who knows what’s going to happen.

_I want you to be only mine._

_Please._

_You’re so special to me._

The younger girl stares at Momo’s face. The same face she stares at every night. Right before tears escape her eyes and she closes them. Her mind and heart in defeat.

* * *

  
  


“We should run away.” Momo almost chokes on her ice cream when Sana’s statement randomly comes out of nowhere.

“What?” Momo was taken aback.

Sana sighed. “I’ll ditch Jihyo and you’ll ditch Mina.” She leans in closer to Momo and intertwines their hands. “We’ll go to a different city, maybe a different country if you’re up for it.”

The brown-haired girl shook her head. “Jihyo will hunt us down!” Sana laughs, removing her hands from Momo’s and bringing it back to her cup of ice cream. “Jihyo and Mina will hunt us down. Nothing we can do about it..”

Momo’s expression hardened. “I don’t want to talk about Mina at all today.”

“You hardly talk about her to begin with.”

“Sana.”

“Momo.”

Sana was smirking and Momo had to use every energy in her body to not snap.

“Did she cry again?”

Momo felt her heart drop, she should’ve seen this question coming. Sana asks it every time they ‘hang out’. All she can do is nod.

“Why are our girls so dumb?”

Momo shrugs. “They’re in love with monsters.”

The blonde bites her lower lip after Momo’s answer. Sana thinks that they are indeed terrible people. Leading people on and breaking their hearts. Monster is just putting it lightly.

“Are we really monsters? Shouldn’t it be players?” Sana says, trying to lighten the mood.

To be completely honest, Sana didn’t like talking about Jihyo. Well, talking about Jihyo with Momo around. To say that Sana doesn’t love Jihyo is a complete and total lie. Jihyo means the world to her but Momo probably meant just as much.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

* * *

  
  


Mina sits by herself in the cafe, legs crossed and eyes focused on the book she’s halfway through. She may look composed and calm but her brain is absolutely exploding right now. All she can think about is Momo and the pile of homework she has to finish by the day. Her head has been hurting since the morning and it’s already 1 in the afternoon. She tried going for a walk but it was extremely cold outside and lasted only several minutes before she decided to take shelter in the cafe.

Cold and abandoned. That’s exactly how Mina felt.

She’s extremely thankful for her habit of having a book in her bag at all times. It keeps her distracted and occupied when her phone fails to.

“Here is your peppermint mocha. I also threw a cookie for you since it looks like you’re having a rough time.”

Mina looks up to see a very tall and beautiful girl with her drink and a small plate with one cookie. “Thank you.” She smiles and the girl turns to leave, taking her spot behind the counter.

Mina took a sip, the drink was stinging her tongue but she didn’t care. Her mind was all fuzzed out when a familiar girl walks in the cafe and head toward the counter. Had a white beanie covering her head and a white scarf wrapped around her head, covering her mouth.

‘That’s Sana’s girlfriend.’ Mina thought to herself. She thought about calling her over, but exactly what would they talk about? Mina tears her gaze away and looks back at her book. The words and letters were jumping around the place and Mina couldn’t focus so she decides to look back at the girl again, seeing that she’s making her way towards Mina’s table.

Mina almost wants to get up but that little drop of unknown curiosity held her down. The girl sits down across from Mina, setting her coffee down and dropping her backpack on the floor.

“Hi.” The girl says, her honey voice filling Mina’s ears.

“Hey. I’m-”

“Sana’s girlfriend.” Mina didn’t mean to but she knew those words poisoned the girl. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said-”

The girl shook her head and had a faint smile, a sad smile. “Unfortunately yes. You’re Momo’s girlfriend.”

Mina nodded, accepting the pain that pinged in her heart when she heard Momo’s name. The girl took a sip of her coffee before speaking again. “My name is Jihyo.”

“I’m Mina. How are you?” Mina doesn’t know why she’s suddenly talking to her as if she’s a friend. Maybe she could be. They probably understand each other more than they’d like to.

“I could be better. I’m cold.” Jihyo was taking off her scarf. “How are you?”

“I’m pretty okay. Also could be better.” Mina giggles. She looked down at her book then back up to Jihyo. “What’s up?”

“I’ve been working non-stop last week but I’m off all week this week. Wait, let me tell you about what happened at work the other day because a patient came in and started yelling at one of the nurses.” Jihyo kept going on and on and Mina didn’t mind, she actually liked it. She liked the company and hearing stories about things she knows she’ll never get to experience.

Not once did they talk about Momo or Sana.

Not once did they talk about their major negativities in life.

Once they were done talking for the day, they exchanged numbers and I guess you can say that both are left with the impression when they’ve made a friend.

* * *

  
  


Momo and Sana were hanging out in Sana’s second apartment, lazing around like usual. Momo had skipped her math class and Sana, well, Sana wasn’t even in college to begin with. Her family wealth was enough to last for generations upon generations. Momo was shocked at first when she had learned this but soon began to care less. Momo was always the type of person to not care anyways.

Their heads were against one another, watching one of Sana’s favorite movies of all time. Momo knows what happens in every scene of the movie like the back of her hand. After all, it was also her favorite movie.

_Hey, it’s that stupid feeling again._

_Make it go away._

_Fuck._

“Sana…” Momo’s voice was cracking, causing Sana to give her full attention without hesitating.

And when Sana look away from the TV to meet Momo’s face, she saw tears running down the brunette’s eyes. Sana’s mind couldn’t process what was going on and was suddenly angry.

“What’s wrong?” Sana asked, wiping away the tears and pulling her into a hug. “Shh, tell me.”

Sana…” Momo was shaking and sniffling and as time went on with her crying, Sana could feel her world burning up.

“Sana, I love you.”

Sana’s mind stopped. “Is that it? Oh my god Momo I thought-”

“No, Sana, listen- I-”

“Momo, stop crying I-”

Momo put her hand over Sana’s mouth. “I said listen.” Sana’s expression softened and she nodded, letting the girl know that she’s listening.

“I am in love with you.”

Sana’s eyes widen and grows soft as she sees more tears fall from the girl’s cheeks. She takes Momo’s hand off her mouth, holding the hand tightly.

“Are you scared?”

_Yes._

_Yes I am._

Momo can’t answer but Sana knows.

* * *

  
  


Chaeyoung steals a glance at Mina, seeing red in her eyes. She sighed and went back to focusing on taking notes. She’s so sick and tired of coming to class and seeing her best friend all depressed and shattered. Chaeyoung felt like she had to do something and help guide her friend through the whole situation.

“Mina.” Chaeyoung stopped Mina in her tracks before she could leave the classroom. “Let’s get some coffee.”

No emotion swept her face but Mina nodded and let the short girl drag her to the cafe she had been to yesterday. The same tall girl was behind the counter and when she saw Mina, she smiled brightly.

“What can I do for you guys?”

Chaeyoung looked nervous and her ears were getting red. “Whatever she’s getting.” And gestured to Mina.

“Winter mocha.”

Two winter mochas?”

Mina nodded, taking note of Chaeyoung’s odd behavior in the cafe. Throughout the time they had spent in the cafe that afternoon, Chaeyoung kept fidgeting in her seat and stuttering. The older girl brought it up, saying that Chaeyoung likes the tall girl who works at the coffee shop. And Mina hit the exact spot because now Chaeyoung was now super sensitive and was a nervous wreck.

There were more important matters to worry about though.

“Mina we need to talk.”

Mina shook her head. “I don’t want to talk. At least not about that.”

“This is bad for you,” Chaeyoung was whining now, “you’re gonna get hurt even more if this keeps going on.”

The older girl looked down at her hands on her lap. Chaeyoung was right and Mina wished she wasn’t.

  
  


* * *

Tzuyu. That is the name of the girl that works at the cafe. Chaeyoung learned that after several visits. She was very quiet and reserved like Mina, and Chaeyoung doesn’t know if she’s just fond or attracted to people like them, but she found it very hard to not catch feelings. At some point, Chaeyoung was deemed as a regular as Tzuyu knew exactly what she wanted the moment the bells coming from the door of the cafe, sounded. It was really pleasing to her to know that someone she admire remembers the tiny stuff about her. Tzuyu would soon begin to ask, “How’s school?” or something of the sort.

Chaeyoung doesn’t know how she did it, but she managed to get Tzuyu’s number by using some sorry excuse. Soon they were more than just employee and customer and more like extremely close talking buddies. One night, Tzuyu texted Chaeyoung at two in the morning and when Chaeyoung let her presence be known, Tzuyu went off, ranting about how school was stressful and how work was so dumb.

The very next night, it was Chaeyoung who ranted to Tzuyu at three in the morning. Venting about how she hates the way the world works. She went on and on about Mina and the whole situation. Talked about how she hated her English professor. Talked about a bunch of things that has been pulling her down and Tzuyu responded so well and amazingly, that Chaeyoung started to fall more for her.

One day, Chaeyoung was out, walking to the store to grab a few packs of ramen since her roommate Dahyun ate all the ramen they had that weekend. Chaeyoung was on her way back when she saw Tzuyu in a gray hoodie and gray sweatpants, walking her dog. Tzuyu looked so beautiful and breathtaking that Chaeyoung was frozen on the spot, not being able to call out to the girl.

_Hey._

_I think I-_

_Maybe I love her?_

While eating their dinner that night, Dahyun had to deal with Chaeyoung’s ramblings about the most amazing girl in the entire world.

“Why don’t you two date already? You guys are so obviously in love.” Dahyun says while stuffing her mouth with noodles.

Chaeyoung shakes her head. “I don’t think she likes me like that. Don’t think we’ll last long either.”

* * *

  
  


If Momo has ever loved so much that her heart felt like exploding at just thinking about them, it would definitely and absolutely be Sana. She would lay down her life for her with no hesitation and go through the most just to have Sana happy and content. Momo doesn’t care if it’s one-sided love, and Momo doubts it was that way too. She knows that this relationship was worth fighting for and would do everything to keep it in place forever.

Sana had already gotten their plane tickets to Japan and had already bought their house, in a private residential area in Kyoto. Momo was anxious at first but Sana had reassured that everything will be fine and that she will always be there for her. Momo is always like this, needing someone to hold her hand through everything and starting a new life with someone she holds close to her heart, sets her far from the edge.

Sana is the epitome of perfect. Momo found this out really quickly, probably within the week of their meeting. She knew how to speak three languages, finished school early, and so much more. It would take Momo hours and hours to name the achievements of Minatozaki Sana. The older girl has to constantly wrap her head around how she’s completely in love with the human form of God.

“Momo.” Sana’s soft voice filled the air, as Momo held her close, their bodies bare as they had just been intimate not too long before. Momo squeezes her hand to let her know that she’s listening.

“The moon tonight is beautiful, isn’t it?”

Momo’s japanese was rusty and faded but Momo understood her well and felt her heart sinking, since she’s heard it one too many times from Mina.

It was Mina’s really sweet way of saying I love you and Momo feels bad to have her mind label it as Sana’s sweet way.

“I love you.” Momo says in English, kissing the temple of Sana’s head.

* * *

Momo has been packing her bag as the days go by, putting a clothing item or necessity in her bag every morning. Mina has been noticing it and does not even think to ask, because she already knows. Her most loved person in her world will soon leave her.

One morning, they’re in the bathroom, both brushing their teeth side by side, elbows touching. Mina doesn’t know where the large amount of confidence came from but after she was done brushing, she decided to ask Momo.

“Where are you going?” Mina asked, setting her toothbrush in its holder. Momo paused, spitting into the sink before talking. “To class. Where else?”

Mina shook her head. “You’re packing your bags.” Momo’s eyes widen. Not knowing the right words to say.

“You’re leaving me.”

“No.” She said it without emotion and sounded so much in denial that Mina was starting to get irritated.

“Tell me the truth.”

Momo shook her head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Where are you going?”

“I said don’t worry about it.” Momo could never get mad at Mina. Not even if Mina had done the worst thing Momo could ever imagine. Momo wants to get mad but she can’t. She can’t and it’s frustrating her and upsetting her to no end.

Mina’s world has already collapsed and she has already braced herself for the pain she’s going to receive. She just needs Momo to let her know, to let her know that Mina is no longer loved by her because Mina is always hopeful. Even her tiniest of hopes are noticed and acknowledge. If she continues to have a small hope of Momo loving her, it’s going to be as loud as ever and Mina will continue to dedicate her heart, regardless of the truth. Unless the truth has been said.

“Momo.”

“Mina.”

Momo was obviously anxious and Mina swears that she’s about to cry. And right before Mina could open her mouth, Momo starts sobbing, getting on her knees.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it would be like this. I’m terrible and was always bad to you. You deserve so much better. I shouldn’t have asked you out, you probably regret accepting. I promise I loved you at some point, I just don’t know why I changed. I’m sorry. Sorry sorry sorry.”

Mina had to take a couple seconds to process everything that was going on. Her entire body feels numb, her mind has stopped working. Hell, Mina couldn’t even cry. Was it the shock? Was it the final realization that some people aren’t really worth it in the end? Or was it her mind telling her to break up with Momo right there?

“Finish packing your bags and leave.” Mina’s voice was so hollow and rough, it was as if Mina wasn’t Mina anymore. It was like someone killed her inner spirit and replaced her with a new dull one.

Momo is still sobbing and Mina felt that if she had stayed any longer she would be sobbing too, so she leaves Momo alone in the bathroom. Leaving the apartment and heading towards Chaeyoung’s pad.

* * *

  
  


Chaeyoung wasn’t home when Mina arrived. Dahyun was though, she was studying for her history test. Even though Mina’s friendship with Dahyun wasn’t near as strong as Mina’s friendship with Chaeyoung, they were friends nonetheless and Dahyun accepted the crying girl into her arms the moment she opened the door.

When Chaeyoung gets home and heads to her room, she sees Mina sleeping on her bed and before a peep could come out of her, Dahyun pulls her to the side. Far enough so that their voices won’t wake the sleeping girl.

“What’s Mina doing he-”

“You DUMBASS. Why didn’t you even bother to look at my texts or answer my calls?” Dahyun was whispering angrily, her hand gripping on Chaeyoung’s arm.

“I was with Tzuyu! We were at the movies and when we went to go and eat after, I was too occupied to even turn my phone back on!” Chaeyoung was upset.

“Mina broke up with Momo.”

Oh.

_Oh._

Chaeyoung’s expression morphed from confusion to shock and it takes every little energy in her body to not run out the door, drive to wherever Momo is, and beat her up.

“What’d she say?”

The older girl pressed her lips. “Momo was already trying to leave somewhere and Mina tried to get it out of her. She told me that Momo started crying and she just told Momo to leave.”

“Oh.” That was all she could say. Chaeyoung’s mind just got so restricted and she doesn’t know why but she’s just so angry and upset. She feels like the worst best friend anyone could ask for. She knew how the ending of the relationship would be and did nothing to act upon it. It was partly her fault and that was all she could think about.

“I did the best I could for her, but I think she needed you the most.”

There was a pang in Chaeyoung’s chest, looking at Mina and then to Dahyun. “Thank you. I’ll talk to her whenever she gets up.”

And it was one of those rare moments, where Chaeyoung gave Dahyun a hug. The pair usually never gave each other hugs but whenever they do, it’s usually congratulatory or for comfort.

“No problem. She’s my friend too. I’ll be in my room studying if you need anything.” Dahyun smiles and heads to her room which is a couple steps from Chaeyoung’s.

The short haired girl looks into her room, watching as Mina turns in her sleep. More than ever, she wishes to turn back time and had hung out with Tzuyu another day. Sure, going places with her is fun but Tzuyu’s importance compared to Mina’s is close to nothing.

  
  


* * *

Four hours later, Mina wakes up with her hair sticking out in random places and her eyes pink. The pillow was still damp, letting her know that she had cried herself to sleep after talking with Dahyun. As she sits up, she sees Chaeyoung laying on her stomach on the floor with her sketchbook out, doodling some sort of wizard’s tower.

Mina tries not to cry on the spot, not wanting to alarm the distracted girl and definitely not wanting to be reminded about what had happened earlier.

“Chaeng.”

After Mina calls for her, she starts crying. She couldn’t stop it, it was like a trigger and Mina’s feelings just kept pulling on it. Chaeyoung gets up quickly and jumps on the bed, unsettling Mina even more.

“Sorry.” Chaeyoung says before hugging her best friend.

Chaeyoung absolutely hates it when Mina cries. Mina has always been so sensitive and Chaeyoung always feels like someone has to be there to protect her and most of the time, it has to be Chaeyoung because only she understands Mina the best.

“I’ve lost her.” Mina’s voice cracked.

“You’ve lost her for like a year already.”

Mina cries a little bit harder and Chaeyoung regrets saying what she said but at the same time, she doesn’t. It’s the cold hard truth and she knows that what Mina needs right now is the truth. She needs all she can get after almost a year and a half of being fed lies.

“What am I going to do?”

Chaeyoung found it really hard to answer that question. She wishes she had an answer but after seconds of not replying, Mina answered it herself.

“There’s nothing I can do.” The defeat in her voice sparked a fire in the younger girl.

“You can do so much. Let’s work on recovery and moving on.”

Mina hugged Chaeyoung tighter. “That’s going to be hard.”

“Not when you have the right people there to help you.”

“I only have you.”

“And Dahyun. Maybe Tzuyu.”

The older girl got quiet. She was still crying but Chaeyoung would have to focus so hard to notice.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Chaeyoung wants to smack Mina for asking such questions.

“Of course. We’ll watch some movies and shows too if you’re down.”

Mina nodded into Chaeyoung’s shoulder. It takes some time, but Mina falls asleep again, in the middle of their hug. The younger girl knows how much weight Mina must carry and she’s determined to chop some of it off. She will always be mad about this incident and she swears on everything that the next time she comes across Hirai Momo, it’ll be the end of that girl.

  
  


* * *

Kyoto.

Jihyo’s eyes wander around the room and she sees several books opened on the coffee table and they’re all about Kyoto and Japan. She’s not surprised. She’s not even upset. Instead, she muses about Sana and her “girlfriend” because everytime Sana meets someone and “falls in love”, it usually doesn’t go well and leads her back to Jihyo. But something inside tells Jihyo that Sana is might actually be serious this time. It’s not really hard for Jihyo to tell whether Sana is being serious or not since they’ve been friends for almost their whole life and have been “dating” for four years.

Sometimes, Jihyo doesn’t even think of them being girlfriends because they’re really just friends. Their bond is certainly not just friendship and it's too much to be sisterly. It’s the midpoint and they both agreed to settle on the girlfriend label.

Out the window, it was obvious that it would storm really hard tonight and be extremely damning. Jihyo thinks about Sana and where she would be tonight. With Momo? Here with her?

And speaking of the devil, Jihyo sees Sana’s car pull up in their driveway. Sana gets out with an unreadable expression and fumbles with her keys as she makes her way to the front door. Jihyo looks back at the book she was reading, staring into some words until Sana comes in and sits on her lap.

“We need to talk.”

Jihyo sits up, her chin resting on Sana’s shoulder. “About what?”

“We can’t go on like this anymore.”

Jihyo giggled. She has heard that sentence so many times that it doesn’t have a strong effect on her anymore. Jihyo finds it twisted that she knows what’s going to happen even before Sana could think of it.

“You think this is a joke?”

“Sana, you’re not going to last with her.”

Sana lightly flicks her finger at Jihyo’s forehead, causing the younger girl to let out a small whimper. “I’m serious this time.”

“You said that with Eunha and then came back to me after a year.” Jihyo says, rubbing her forehead.

“No, I’m actually really serious this time.”

“And for what reason?”

“She loves me.”

“Who doesn’t.”

“She’s seriously in love with me.” Her tone was serious. So serious that Jihyo felt a needle poking at her heart. She didn’t know what to say, taken aback by the sudden change.

“She does so much for me Jihyo and we have so much in common. I’ve seen the way she’s looked at me and I know that she’s so in love with me. The way her eyes twinkle and the way she holds me. She loves me. I know it and I feel it.”

Jihyo looks away and shakes her head. “All this talk about her loving you but you have yet to say that you love her.”

Sana gets off Jihyo’s lap and starts walking to the kitchen. The younger girl follows and does her best to process the frantic words that are coming out of Sana’s mouth.

“I honestly don’t know. I think I love her. I think I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I want to try for her. I’m just scared because we are exactly the same person. We are the type of people to mess up our own relationships. Imagine us both in a relationship. It’s already caused enough trouble for the both of us but the future could be even more bitter. God, I sometimes wish I never met her.” Sana was pacing back and forth near the counters.

Jihyo, who was seated on a stool and peeling an orange, began talking. “You guys are even leaving the country together. You’re trying at least.”

“Yes! Jihyo, I think I love her! I don’t know why this is eating me up. I hate this so much.”

That was as close as Sana got to saying that she loves Momo. Jihyo could feel her heart drop by the millisecond but remains as calm as she can be.

“Hate what?”

“I’ve never been so committed.”

“Yes you have.”

Sana stops and turns to Jihyo. “You don’t count. You’re my best friend.”

“So we’re not girlfriends?”

“Are you serious? After I just told you I think I love Momo?”

“Sana, you have a cycle of ‘falling in love’ and then running back to me.” Jihyo says matter-of-factly before putting a piece of orange in her mouth.

“I don’t run back to you!” The blonde whines. Jihyo raises her brows and Sana’s shoulder slumps in defeat. “I fall back.”

Before any other words can be said, Sana’s phone ring. Jihyo gets up to leave since that ringtone belonged to Momo and she wasn’t in the mood to listen in on whatever the two had to talk about.

It took Sana a moment to answer, but she sighed before she clicked the green icon. “He- Why are you crying?”

Jihyo stopped and turned around, surprised but there was a small smile tugging at her face. Sana didn’t talk, listening to what the girl on the other line had to say. Jihyo could faintly hear sobs coming from Sana’s phone and was so close to asking, “What did she do this time?” but Sana was out the door before anything. Jumping back into her car and speeding out the driveway and probably, Jihyo assumes, making her way to Momo’s right now.

* * *

The brown-haired girl had her head rested on the passenger seat window, her eyes red and puffy. She could’ve fallen asleep right there. She was surely tired enough to but she couldn’t. Not with such a heavy weight of feelings resting on her shoulder. The radio was playing Mina’s favorite song and she wants to tell Sana to change the station but she can’t. She can’t talk or think, not after all of that mess.

Usually, it’s Momo that does it. Break off a relationship. She always prepares herself for things like that and does it at her own accord. Having Mina end it was unexpected and Momo was well unprepared. It hit her hard and she doesn’t know how to handle it. That’s why she’s so broken and hurt right now.

“I have work tonight so I won’t be home. Will you be okay or should I call in?” Sana’s voice was soft and Momo wanted to hug her so badly.

“You should go to work.”

Sana’s heart actually broke, hearing the defeat in her voice. “I can stay with you, you know?” and a few seconds later, “I’m calling in.”

Momo was about to cry again but she didn’t. “Thank you.”

The older girl hummed and her fingers tapped the steering wheel, in no rhythmical pattern. Thinking about what to do about Momo’s situation. Their flight was scheduled and they wouldn’t be leaving until two weeks later. Maybe Sana could have them booked to leave in a couple days but she’s definitely not ready. Not ready to leave. Not yet. She needs to talk to Jihyo some more and definitely needs to go over and check her feelings for Momo.

Rain started to pour and Sana sighed as she pulled into her reserved parking spot. Momo unbuckled and was about to open the car door until Sana reached out and stopped her.

“You’re going to be soaked. Wait for me.”

And like Momo’s dream knight, Sana pulls an umbrella from a little compartment in the car and gets out, leading Momo under the umbrella to their apartment. Sana lets Momo in and then goes back out to get Momo’s bags, which takes her two trips.

They’re standing in their bedroom, at the bottom edge of the bed. “You’re wet.” Momo says as she looks at Sana’s shirt, that was kissed by the rain quite a bit at her upper body.

The younger girl waves it off, unzipping Momo’s bag and sorting the clothes. Momo puts her hand on top of Sana’s, making the girl stop everything she was doing.

“Yes?”

Momo almost winces when she hears Sana’s soft honey voice. Her head is thumping and her chest hurts. She can barely talk and when she does, it takes every energy in her body to keep her from collapsing.

“I want a hug.” It was a simple request. From Momo to Sana. And as if a switch in her flipped, she received a hug. From Sana to Momo.

* * *

  
  


Tzuyu was playing with a straw with her lips, her head bent down enough to see her phone. She was drinking water of course and had the cup in between her arms. Sitting across from her was Mina, who was reading a book that Chaeyoung had let her borrow a day earlier.

“What did Chaeyoung tell you?” Mina says, not looking up from her book. Tzuyu pauses and looks up from her phone. Mina looks up and they both make eye contact. Tzuyu smiles.

“To not let a sleepy looking girl with dark brown hair in the cafe ever again.” And then she giggles.

Mina can’t help but giggle too. She’s so glad that her best friend is talking to someone that is such a happy pill. Always positive and happy. Looking at things way better than it should be.

Tzuyu sets down her phone and brings her hands to her cup, holding it like a baby with a sippy cup. Mina was about to speak until Chaeyoung came in, rushing to their table. She plopped next to Tzuyu on the booth and began speaking so fast that both Mina and Tzuyu had to calm her down.

“Speak slowly.” Tzuyu says shaking the smaller girl’s shoulders, “And more quiet please.”

“My English professor said that I could make up my test but 20 points will be cut off. So now, I have to do absolutely good and make an 80 or I’ll definitely fail that class.”

“You told me you have an A in that class.” Mina says, putting her book away.

“I… I just don’t want to get a low grade.” Chaeyoung was shy, being outed by Mina in front of Tzuyu, who she adores so much.

“I don’t see why you worry. You’re so good at English.” Tzuyu moved her cup of water to the side as the waiter came back with her arms and hands full of plates. “We also ordered your food for you if you don’t mind.”

“Oh thanks.” Chaeyoung smiled at Mina and nodded.

Tzuyu had gotten some sort of salad and Mina got some type of chef’s special that Chaeyoung cannot make out what it is. Just a bunch of meat and noodles. Chaeyoung, absolutely loves eating soup. It could be any kind of soup and Chaeyoung would gladly inhale it and get seconds. This time around, Mina ordered her potato soup and Chaeyoung could feel her tongue explode with happiness as she puts the first spoonful in her mouth.

“Chaeyoung, I’m going to America in 2 weeks.”

The small girl drops her spoon in her soup bowl, causing a little bit of soup to be splattered on the table and on her. “You’re gonna what?!”

Mina pursed her lips, “I’m going to be in Texas visiting my brother and his wife for his 25th birthday.”

Chaeyoung paid no mind to the girl next to her that was wiping off soup from her shirt and the table. “Kai came over like, a couple months ago!”

“Hey, let’s tone it down a bit.” Tzuyu says softly. Chaeyoung turns to her to say something but stops when she sees those big round eyes wide with concern.

“I just have to go.”

“Can I go with you?”

“You have school.”

“You do too.”

“Not anymore.”

“Wait what?”

The older girl inhaled deeply, trying her best to lay out the words carefully in her head so that when it comes out, it won’t cause an alarming reaction from her best friend.

“It’s not dropping out. It’s requesting a leav-”

Chaeyoung fussed anyways. “You’re just gonna leave school like that? C’mon Mina you’re such a good student.”

“I have to look after our family business too. I doubt that what I learn in school hasn’t been known or used by me.”

The girl, once frustrated, returned back to eating her soup. Just slightly more aggressive. It took her a moment to realize that her friend was leaving to get her mind off of things. Off of her. Momo. Chaeyoung didn’t dare ask or bring it up, she just knew and it just took her a bit to realize. Tzuyu probably knows, she was quick to catch onto things. Maybe that’s why the younger girl was using her foot to nudge Chaeyoung’s. Probably to get her to shut up or something.

“You’ll come back though right?” Chaeyoung knew the answer but asked anyway. Seoul was basically Mina’s second home and she knows how much Mina cares about Chaeyoung and her friends. She would never leave the ones she cared about behind, at least not for forever.

* * *

  
  


Dahyun groans loudly as she checks her grade on her phone. Almost wanting to throw the phone across the room. Actually, she does throw the phone across the room, the phone making a loud thud on the wall. She turns in her bed, uncomfortable and displeased with everything life has to offer.

Ding!

She practically jumps out of her bed and half-runs to her phone. It was Jeongyeon that texted her and she almost throws the phone again until she sees the text.

“can u take em and nayoen home., drunk”

Dahyun groans again. Just how eventful can her life get right now? Having her grades fall, Mina getting her heart broken, and her two friends getting wasted and needing a ride home. The last time Dahyun went to get those two troublemakers, they jumped on her in the car and almost made them get into a wreck that could’ve possibly killed them. Dahyun has been traumatized since then but she was really glad that Jeongyeon had called her. Lord know what kind of mess they would’ve gotten into.

She slipped into her favorite rain jacket and was out the door with her keys, texting Chaeyoung that she wouldn’t be home for a few hours and that dinner was in the fridge. She knows she’ll be home before Chaeyoung but it’s just a security thing that Dahyun has inside of her. She’s always so careful and concerned about trivial things.

It was raining so hard that the scenery around her was blurred. Dahyun felt a wave of relief wash over her, thanking God and everything good for having Jeongyeon text her to drive them home. If anything were to happen to them because of their current state - Dahyun would hate herself for the rest of her life.

“Where are you?” Dahyun says, holding her phone to her ear. She can hear Nayeon in the background sobbing about some lipstick she lost at the party. Jeongyeon was drunk alright, slurring and mispronouncing words through the phone.

“Jinyoung’s house.”

Dahyun sighed and hung up, wishing that her friends went to a better party. Jinyoung’s parties are almost always lame. She wonders why Nayeon and Jeongyeon went to Jinyoung’s instead of BamBam’s tonight. They usually favor BamBam more since it’s more wild and absolutely more fun. Then her mind wanders off. They probably chose to go to Jinyoung’s because he house had more empty rooms so they would have some alone time to themselves. That’s really all Dahyun could come up with at the moment because the other day, Nayeon was going on and on about wanting to dominate Jeongyeon for once.

She’s glad that her two friends are together because they go so well with one another. She was scared that Jeongyeon was going to never ask Nayeon out because she would always complain about Nayeon’s whines and disapproval of Jeongyeon hanging posters of nude girls in their dorm. Sometimes, she wonders how fire and solid ice go so well with one another.

Her car stops and her mind wanders off, thinking about school and all the homework that she has.

And it was at this moment.

At this intersection.

The light turned green and Dahyun went forward.

At that very second, a car moving at a high speed collided with hers.

  
  


* * *

It was Sana.

It was her that didn’t pay attention to traffic.

It was her that sped her car into another.

It had all happened so fast. The crash ejected her out the car through the windshield and onto the pavement that was holding a few inches of water. The pain came all at once and it strongly lingered throughout her entire body, she couldn’t move either. It hurt when she tried to move and she could taste blood coming from her busted lips. Blood was trickling down her face and she could feel several parts of her body burn with pain. Her right leg, her stomach, and her head. She was laying face down and she tried her best to move. She still can’t move, no matter how hard she tried, no matter the amount of energy she put into it. The rain hitting her the wounds on her head was making her more dizzy and it pained her so much. The smell of rain and gas filled her nostrils, letting her know that she really did just fucked up everything in her life right now. She wanted to cry.

She wanted to cry even more when she saw a girl lying face down a few feet away from her. The waters around them were tinted red from the blood loss that both were contributing to. The was facing Sana, her eyes half-closed but Sana knows she’s alive because she’s trying to say something. The girl was more injured than Sana, the bloodied water was more darker around the girl than it was for Sana. The blonde tried to reach out to the girl, she doesn’t know why. But her hand finger was pricked by a glass floating in the water, causing her to wince and retract her arm back.

“I’m… sorry…” Sana manages to get out but the rain was pouring and she doubts that the girl heard but the thing is she did. Sana just doesn’t know.

Her ears are pounding and Sana wants to sleep. She thinks that if she closes her eyes, then it’s over with. Her whole life will be over with. She will never get to live her life to the fullest. She will never get to settle down with Momo. God, if only she wasn’t in a rush to get her passport and belongings. If only she hadn’t moved the flight to the very next day.

Momo, she just wants to see Momo.

_I worry for her._

_Don’t let me die._

_Not when I have to be there for her._

_And be there for her._

Oh my god, when will help come? It’s been forever and Sana is desperate to live. Momo. She has to be there for Momo. She _can’t_ go like this, not when she’s made a mess and has to take responsibility.

Sana wants to move, so badly but she can’t and it’s frustrating her. She wants to scream, she wants to cry. She can’t. And all of her energy seemingly vanishes right as she sees the girl beside her get put on a stretcher.

* * *

  
  


Jihyo was supposed to be off the whole week but she had to go due to an emergency call. There was a lot of people involved in accidents due to the damning weather. She’s been at the hospital ever since the afternoon and has been working non stop. Going from one patient to another. Her first patient was someone that had gotten electrocuted. Not too bad but they had to be checked over for any mental or physical damages.

Patients after patients.

She just wasn’t expecting her Sana to be one of them. The nurses that was in the ambulance looking after her said that she had lost a lot of blood and had several serious wounds. Jihyo took her into the ER and operated on Sana herself. Taking out all the glass that Sana held with her body. Disinfecting and stitching her up. Bandaging her. It took a lot for Jihyo not to cry. To see her best friend, hurt and wounded.

They told her it was a car accident. That Sana was speeding and had hit another car. Jihyo wanted to shake Sana and wake her up. To scold her and tell her that she was so dumb and reckless. Jihyo was infuriated to the point where the nurses and other doctors made her stop taking patients since she had “lost her mind”.

Sana’s parents are too busy to care whether or not their daughter is dead. It has been that way ever since Sana turned 10. Jihyo was there, she saw Sana’s parents leave in their car, saying that they’ll be overseas for business matters. Left Sana alone with some hired people that were to care for Sana until she were of age. Jihyo wished, she really did, that someone other than herself was there for the hurt girl. Sana needed more than Jihyo.

And with that, Jihyo steps out of the room and takes out her phone. Her finger hovered over Momo’s name in her contacts. She was twisted inside. Remembering the day she introduced her to Sana. Momo can’t do much can’t she? She always skips school, doesn’t have a job, and can’t hold a serious relationship. At least from what Jihyo has heard.

It only took a few seconds for Momo to answer and a few seconds for Jihyo to tell the girl that Sana is in the hospital from a car accident. After Momo hung up right after the words spilled out of Jihyo’s mouth, Jihyo went to Sana’s room again but was denied entry by one of the nurses guarding the door.

“She’s still in operation.”

“I operated on her already.” Jihyo says with a deadly tone causing the color of the nurses face to fade away.

“You rushed it. Please, Dr. Park, she’ll be okay.”

She just wanted to barge in and do the deeds herself. She was about to too, that was until the nurse had suggested something Jihyo had never thought of.

“I think you should go and check on the patient your girl hit…” It was a mumble but Jihyo heard it well.

She doesn’t want to see the girl Sana had hit. She would feel the guilt that Sana should be feeling and Jihyo doesn’t roll that way. But something in her heart told her to. Told her to be there and help Sana own up to some of her mistakes.

So she goes to see Dahyun, the almost-dying girl that Sana collided with.

  
  


* * *

Chaeyoung practically runs around the hospital, trying to look for her friend. Tzuyu and Mina have both tried to stop the younger girl and slow her down but when Chaeyoung is in her mode, she is in her mode.

“Dahyun Dahyun Dahyun Dahyun…” The short haired girl repeats this under her breath, as if her friend would forever disappear if her name wasn’t said so many times.

To say Chaeyoung was a mess right now would be an understatement. She’s chaos, erupted volcano that cannot be stopped and it would take everything in the universe to make her return to her normal state. Tears were flowing from her eyes like a river going downstream. All that was in her head right now was for Dahyun to be okay and alive.

Mina was crying, not Tzuyu though, she stayed strong for the two. They were just leaving the restaurant when Chaeyoung received a call from Dahyun’s phone. On the other side of the line was a woman, saying that if Chaeyoung were a friend or family, that Dahyun got into a car accident and was rushed to the ER.

The hospital was crowded and busy. Mina and Tzuyu found it hard to keep up with Chaeyoung, weaving through doctors and people.

“Ma’am, I’m going to need you to leave if you’re going to cause a disturbance.” A security says as he stops Chaeyoung.

Tzuyu grabbed Chaeyoung’s hand. “She’s with us. I’m sorry, her friend got into a car accident and we are trying to find where she’s located.” Beside her, Mina was looking somewhere else, her eyes puffy so she can barely see but she’s sure she sees Jihyo come out a room with a nurse.

“Jihyo?” Mina says as she walks to the doctor.

Jihyo was definitely distraught. There was evidence from her eyes that she was crying and her hair is a mess.

“Mina, what’re you doing here?” The doctor says.

“My friend got into a car accident.” God, Mina wanted to fall down to the floor and cry when she said that. Jihyo’s expression softened when she saw Mina at the verge of breaking down. She rushes to hug the girl.

“Hey, I can find her for you. What’s her name?”

“Kim Dahyun.”

Jihyo lets go of Mina, stepping slowly. Shock isn’t the right word to explain Jihyo’s face when she heard the name. It was more like worriedness or even fear. Like she didn’t expect Mina to say such a name.

Mina had started crying after saying her friend’s name. It was like a stab to her emotions. It was only yesterday when she broke up with someone she loved and now her friend is hurt with a high chance of dying.

Tzuyu drags Chaeyoung to Mina, not knowing what to do in this situation. I mean, what do you do when your friends are breaking down because of their close friend getting into a car accident. There was a possibility that Dahyun was dying as they speak and it hurt Tzuyu to talk about it. She did her best to comfort Chaeyoung who was crying on her shoulder.

“The security said we had to go to the front desk to find out Dahyun’s room.” Tzuyu says softly to Mina who looked like she was close to collapsing.

“No.”

Everyone looked at Jihyo and it was like time stopped. Everything froze, everyone waiting for what Jihyo has to say next.

“Her room is right here and it’ll be some time until the doctors will be done.”

Quiet sobbing became louder and Chaeyoung shifts from crying on Tzuyu to crying with Mina. Tzuyu had to move the pair to the chairs so that they wouldn’t collapse on each other.

“How is she?”

Silence. Then louder sobs.

Jihyo looked sorry, she really did. The poor girl looked beaten up and so worn that Tzuyu didn’t bother to ask anymore questions. The younger girl just shut her mouth and sat down next to Chaeyoung, who was wiping tears off her face.

“Who did it?” Chaeyoung’s voice cracked but her question hit Jihyo hard. If Jihyo were to say who had ran into Dahyun, it would cause war and never-ending troubles. Last time she checked, Dahyun was using her last ounce of life and if she told them that it was Sana who crashed into Dahyun…

The last thing Jihyo wants is for Sana to live with even more guilt than she’s already supposed to live with. Sana’s going to live, Dahyun might not. That’s going to throw everyone’s lives off the boat so quick. God, why is the world pushing on her today. Jihyo wanted to cry too but she can’t. Not right here.

“Who did it?!”

“I don’t know.”

It was almost like a whisper.

And at that very moment, a girl was running towards them and it was none other than Hirai Momo, soaked from head to toe from the rain.

Everything went in slow motion. Momo was only a couple feet from Chaeyoung when a punch was thrown and she was knocked back to the floor. Next second later, the small girl was on top of her, sending punches as if it were the last thing she was doing in her life. Tzuyu wanted to stop the raging lion but something inside of her just told her to watch.

It was also at this moment where Jihyo realizes that calling Momo was a bad idea to begin with. She calls out for security and watch as Chaeyoung and Momo are pulled apart and taken away.

Mina was going insane. Her mind was connecting the dots and piecing the pieces together. She cannot fathom how much sense she’s making and wishes it wasn’t so likely that Sana had hit Dahyun and now Momo is here because of Sana.

She looks at Jihyo, tears rolling down her face.

“It was Sana.”

A solemn nod from Jihyo was all that was needed to cause Mina to lose all her senses and faint.

  
  


* * *

“Where’s our ride?” Nayeon has been complaining for the past two hours and all Jeongyeon can answer with is, “On her way.”

To be honest, Jeongyeon’s state of mind was returning and she was starting to worry about Dahyun. She knows that the kid is careful but she her guts were telling her something else. Maybe it was the few shots of everclear making her feel sick but Dahyun should be here by now. Jeongyeon’s mind wandered and Nayeon got quiet. They were still in Jinyoung’s house but in a private room that they made Jinyoung keep reserved for them.

“You should call her.” Nayeon says after a while, taking out her phone and handing it to Jeongyeon. Jeongyeon’s was dead and Nayeon’s was riding with only 3%.

The short haired girl put the phone to her ear, wondering why it was ringing for so long until a familiar voice picked up.

“Hello?”

“Jeongyeon…” The voice was so, how do you say it, extremely tired and sad. Like extremely gloomy and her nerves tensed up.

“Hello? Dahyun? Where are-”

“Jeongyeon, come to the hospital.” It was Mina that was speaking and she just started crying.

“What happened?” Jeongyeon wanted to know. She wants to know what happened to Dahyun.

The phone died at that point and Nayeon was staring wide-eyed at Jeongyeon, wanting to know what happened and what was said.

Jeongyeon got up quickly, sobering up quicker than the speed of light. “We have to go to the hospital.”

Nayeon gathered their stuff and they both busted out the house and jumped into Jeongyeon’s car. Nayeon making sure that Jeongyeon was driving safely and Jeongyeon keeping her senses together to operate the car.

“It’s my fault.” Jeongyeon says, tears rolling down her cheeks. Nayeon wipes the tears away with her thumb. “No, it’s not.” She says firmly.

“If I didn’t tell her to pick us up and make her drive in this BAD fucking weather. Oh my god, I hope whatever happened to her is not too serious. I’m so fucking worried.”

Nayeon was about to say something but as they drove, they came upon an intersection with a bunch of police cars and a fire truck parked surrounding a wreck. They seemed to be trying to move the wreckage and gather whatever items they can.

Jeongyeon’s and Nayeon’s heart sunk simultaneously as they see a familiar car, almost unrecognizable but they know it too well. The officer signed for Jeongyeon to go on a different path so she did.

“Oh my god, did she get into a wreck?” Nayeon says with her hands to her face, bawling. Jeongyeon was too choked up to say anything.

“If only we didn’t tell her.”

Those words burned in Jeongyeon. She was breaking by the second and sped up a bit, trying to get to the hospital as quick as she can without getting into a wreck herself.

“She has to be okay.”

“Jeong, did you see how bad the wreck was?” 

Jeongyeon bit her lip and shook her head, “Dahyun is strong. I know she’s going to be okay.”

Nayeon was talking over her. Repeating the same thing over and over. “It’s our fault.” And it was driving Jeongyeon crazy. She wants to know which madman hit Dahyun, knowing that her friend was always careful on the road.

They were losing their minds, talking over each other and going on about Dahyun and how they hope she’ll be fine. Out of the two, the more broken one was Jeongyeon, because she practically grew up with her. She was like her little sister and Jeongyeon would walk through fire for her.

And Jeongyeon hopes that Dahyun is alive and will be okay because God knows that a piece of her will never be the same.

* * *

  
  


Momo was in an office room of the hospital, handcuffed. Sitting beside her was Chaeyoung who was spewing threats and curses to her. The older knew she deserved every single one of it.

“Can you shut up?” One of the officers in the room says, looking at his clipboard. Murmuring to the nurse beside him and one of the other officers.

“Momo, are you related to Sana?”

“Yes, she’s my girlfriend. Can I go see her?” Momo was upset, her face hurt all over the place and she wanted to cry but her mind and emotions are all jumbled up. Chaeyoung tried getting up to go after Momo again but the officers had cuffed her to the chair.

“Your shitty _girlfriend_ hit my friend!” Chaeyoung yelled, trying to break free.

Momo was livid. “Just shut up already!”

“Make me!”

The door slams open and the pair turn around to see Tzuyu with Jihyo. Probably to get their people and go.

“Momo is with me.” Jihyo says, walking towards the beaten girl. The officers shook their head. “We can’t let anyone cause anymore disturbance in the hospital.”

“Keep that girl here,” Jihyo gestures at Chaeyoung.

“Uhh, no ma’am?” Tzuyu jumps in.

They both glare at each other for a moment till one of the officers interrupt. “The taller one can go. We need to talk to the shorter one.”

“What?!” Chaeyoung yells again, in disbelief.

Momo is free from her handcuffs and is guided by a passive-aggressive Jihyo out the room. Tzuyu went to stand beside Chaeyoung, who was absolutely infuriated. “I have a friend to check on. Please let me go too.”

Tzuyu chokes up, wanting to tell the short-haired girl that it was Sana that collided with Dahyun but Chaeyoung was already blurting questions out to the officers. “Who did it?” “Will Dahyun be okay?” “Where did the accident happen?”

Her question goes unanswered as one of the officers took her out of the handcuffs. Tzuyu immediately grabbed her hand, making sure that she won’t go crazy again. The uniformed man lets out a sigh. "Please don't get into another fight. That's a warning."

“Come.” The younger girl says as she leads them out the room and into the busy halls of the hospital.

Chaeyoung was crying again but so quietly that Tzuyu had to glance several times to make sure that she was okay.

“Why is Momo here at the hospital?” She says quietly. Tzuyu knows the answer but finds it stuck in her throat. Knowing that if she told her who Momo was here for and what had happened… Her senses tell her that Chaeyoung will definitely go batshit crazy.

After absorbing the silence, the short-haired girl demanded once more, this time more pleadingly. “Tzuyu, do you know why?”

“Promise me that you won’t lose your mind okay?” Tzuyu laid the words out as carefully as possible, not wanting the girl to snap on her.

“No promises.” Chaeyoung says before adding, “Is it that bad?”

The taller girl swallows hard as Chaeyoung’s crying becomes slightly louder, gathering looks from other people that they pass in the halls. “She messed up Mina’s life and pops up when we are at our worst. It’s as if the world wants to shit on Mina right now and I can’t handle this. Not when Dahyun-”

She chokes up at Dahyun’s name. Her beloved roommate and friend lying on a hospital bed, fighting for her life. There was so any emotions tangled up inside Chaeyoung right now and she’s finding it extremely difficult to organize. Her anger and hatred for Momo used to cover all the other emotions but now that she’s also overwhelmed with sadness and despair.

“It’s Sana.” Tzuyu finally says, her grip on Chaeyoung’s hand tightens, “Sana was the one that hit Dahyun.”

If Chaeyoung hadn’t lose it before, she’s definitely lost it now. Every muscle in her body tightened and her mind was a scribbled mess. If she wanted to, she can break the world in half with her bare hands and as Mina comes into vision as they turn a corner, Chaeyoung can feel her entire existence grow more aggressive.

Mina. Oh, Mina. Chaeyoung thinks to herself that one of the most important girls in her life is probably so broken and hurt right now and there’s nothing that Chaeyoung can do except to reassure and stay by her side. To be inflicted by so much in such little time, Chaeyoung doesn’t know how a fragile girl like Mina can live with it right now.

“Chaeng…” Mina’s soft, quiet voice called for the baby lion, that was now in her arms.

Chaeyoung wanted to apologize for everything that Mina had to face when she could’ve avoided the consequences if younger girl had acted upon it. If only Chaeyoung had told Mina to end the relationship with Momo the first time Momo had cheated on her. If only Chaeyoung had done something different to guide Mina to make better choices. It was mostly her fault for letting her friend get fucked over and it strikes so close to her heart when her best friend is hurt and so empty. To have a friend they share have the possibility of leaving the world on top of that.

As Mina sobs quietly into Chaeyoung’s shoulder, the short-haired girl whispers, so that whatever is being said is only between the two of them.

“I promise that I will always be here for you, okay? I’m going to make sure everything is going to be okay. Dahyun will be okay. You will be okay.” Chaeyoung tried fight the tears that escaped her eyes anyways.

“I’m going to ruin their lives.” She wanted to add that but kept it to herself, not wanting to disorient the already destroyed girl.

* * *

  
  


Sana’s eyes flutter open and her eyes take some time to adjust to the dim lighting in an unfamiliar room. It was when she was trying to focus her sight when a wave of memories came flooding to her. The smell of rain, the loud noise when her car had hit another, and the overwhelming pain that she had felt at that moment. She remembers the girl that was there with her, badly injured and was probably dying.

She looks around with her bad eyesight, she automatically knew that she was in the hospital and is slightly bewildered to see two figures in the room with her, both asleep at her sides. She assumes by the color of clothing that it was Jihyo that was at the foot of her bed, with her head resting on top of her arms. She was in her white coat, meaning that she didn’t go home at all and stayed for Sana. Sana knows that the other person in the room with them is Momo because of the way she held Sana’s hand. Momo’s hand was softly intertwined with hers, making Sana feel protected. She wants to scream and shout in happiness. She’s alive and better yet, Momo is right here, with her. Sana swears she thought she was never going to see a light in the world after closing her eyes. Her senses grew strong and now she’s more focused on her current situation.

Her throat was dry and she was too weak to move. She couldn’t feel her legs, or any part of her body really. It seems like the doctors put some heavy medication on her. It takes her a moment to realize that a bandage is wrapped around her head and can kind of see that her right leg is also wrapped heavily and is set on a pillow or something.

Man, Sana wasn’t feeling any pain until she noticed the bandages. She could feel it growing by the moment and has the urge to wake up one of the sleeping occupants in the room. She moves one of the fingers on her right hand, for she only has about enough energy for one.

“Please wake up, Momo.” She thinks to herself, as if she can send messages telepathically. Moving her fingers only tightens Momo’s grip and Sana can feel pain emerging from the growing action too.

“Momo.” Sana was barely audible, the sound of the air conditioner in the room completely shadowed over her calling.

The blonde swallows and a sharp sting greets her throat. She looks at Jihyo and finds it impossible to wake her up. Jihyo has always been a heavy sleeper and by the looks of it, she has had a rough day. Sana is sure that Jihyo must’ve taken care of her while she was in critical condition and is probably so distraught.

Several things run through Sana’s mind as she loses hope in waking someone up. She must apologize. To Momo, to Jihyo, and definitely to the girl she ran into. She did not mean to cause an accident but Sana knew better and she’s beating herself up mentally for being so incautious.

And there it was, the air conditioning shutting off, leaving the room so quiet that you could possibly hear a pin drop.

“It’s all or nothing.” Sana thinks to herself before using almost every energy in her body to say just one word.

“Momo.”

It was not a whisper, it was more like a quiet inside voice you would use when talking to someone beside you.

It did not wake Momo up, but it did somehow wake Jihyo up. The doctor was teary-eyed and got up to get closer to hear what Sana had to say. Immediately pouring water into the glass that was on a table beside the bed and helping the girl drink the water.

“Thanks.” That was as much as Sana could say before Jihyo grabbed a clipboard from out of nowhere.

“I’ll be right back okay? You need to take some meds.” Jihyo whispers to Sana’s ear, trying not to wake up Momo. She gets up and leave the room and Sana does her best to try to wake up Momo when the other girl is gone but is in defeat when Jihyo comes back and Momo had still not given any signs of waking soon.

“You need to rest more than anything right now. Forget about me and Momo and the whole world for a bit. You need to sleep and recover.”

Sana was surprised that Jihyo wasn’t snapping at her but can understand where her best friend was coming from. Having Sana recover and being taken care of has always been Jihyo’s priority and she swears that she could feel her heart tugging for Jihyo.

After taking the medication with Jihyo’s help, she closes her eyes. Not bothering Jihyo or Momo any more. She found it extremely easier to be at peace when Jihyo wraps her hands around her left hand.

She feels bittersweet when Jihyo plants a kiss on her knuckles.

  
  


* * *

Nayeon and Jeongyeon were a complete mess when they arrived at the hospital. Greeted by a crying Chaeyoung, who was telling them what had happened and who had done it. Nayeon and Mina, right then and there, had put their dirty history behind and began consoling each other, wiping each other’s tears and saying that everything will be okay.

“I shouldn’t have texted her to come and get us.” Jeongyeon keeps repeating this until Chaeyoung shuts her up.

“It is not your fault, you idiot. You didn’t hit her.”

“I’m so sorry for making her leave the house.”

“Jeongyeon, shut up.” Nayeon says from Mina’s arms. Tzuyu didn’t know what to do or say when Nayeon and Jeongyeon had arrived, keeping quiet until she notices a doctor come out of the emergency room.

“How is she?” Tzuyu asks loudly, garnering the attention of her loud, crying friends.

Grim and tired, the doctor speaks. “She lost a lot of blood but she’ll be fine. If she had arrived any later, she wouldn’t have made it. Visiting is restricted for now but may be lifted later. Goodnight ladies.” And he walks away with a few other nurses that had also came out of the operating room.

Everyone but Tzuyu sobbed again but this time, these sobs are of relief. Letting go all of the negativity that had welled up inside of them. Hugging each other tightly and talk about how strong Dahyun is and how they’re so glad that she’s still alive.

Jeongyeon let go of Chaeyoung. “You three should go home and rest up. Me and Nayeon will be here all night.”

Mina, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu all let out a firm “no” in unison, causing Jeongyeon to shake her head.

“She’s going to need every one of you when she wakes up. Please, even if it’s just an hour of rest.”

Nayeon nodded into Mina’s shoulder, persuading the girl enough to tell Chaeyoung that they should take Jeongyeon’s advice.

“Fine.” Chaeyoung sighs, wiping away tears from Jeongyeon’s face. “You guys will go and rest when we come back. Yeah?”

“Deal.”

Nayeon and Mina both say their goodbyes, their friendship status still unknown but they both wear faint smiles on their face. One telling the other to not overexert herself and the other wishes for her to sleep well.

Tzuyu has to physically support Mina and Chaeyoung out of the hospital, since they’ve become so weak and exhausted from crying and because of the stress that had built up.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon lay their heads together while seated, watching as doctors and nurses at the end of the hall work.

“We’re shitty friends.” Jeongyeon murmurs, playing with Nayeon’s hands.

The older girl sighs, “No we are not.” before adding a quiet, “Or else we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Nayeon starts tearing up, “We came just in time to hear the news. I was so worried that we’d lose her.” Jeongyeon is silent, absorbing what her girlfriend says next. “We have to change. What if something like this happens again?”

And Nayeon untangles her hands from Jeongyeon’s, sticking her pinky out. “Promise me.”

“Promise you what?” Jeongyeon was confused and completely tired of whatever Nayeon was doing now. Her mind only flowing with Dahyun and the want to sleep.

“Just promise me.”

Jeongyeon’s pinky meets Nayeon’s and curls. Jeongyeon doesn’t know what she’s promising but at the same time she kind of does. It sets off an unknown feeling inside of Jeongyeon.

  
  


* * *

Chaeyoung found it hard to go into her apartment without Dahyun, so Tzuyu offered to let her two friends stay at her place. Mina had objected but changed her mind because she doesn’t want to be reminded of Momo when she steps foot into her apartment.

Mina let Tzuyu drive, since she’s the most sensible person to do so at the moment. Mina can barely feel her hands and she would never let someone like Chaeyoung drive her car with the state she’s in. It was also still raining and Mina trusts Tzuyu more than herself to drive in such horrid conditions.

“We’re here.” Tzuyu pulls into an almost empty parking lot, “My room is upstairs so we should run for it.”

So they do, getting drenched by the time they are under the protection of Tzuyu’s roof. The heat of Tzuyu’s apartment greets them and Mina and Chaeyoung both finds themselves near fainting.

Chaeyoung got a shower first, slipping into one of Tzuyu’s unused clothes and falling asleep on the girl’s bed before Mina has a chance to even step into the shower.

Mina looked sick, her face was really pale and Tzuyu can hear a change in her voice.

“I can’t sleep.” Mina says when Tzuyu comes out of the bathroom. Mina was on the bed with Chaeyoung, looking up at the ceiling. Chaeyoung snores let the two of them know that she’s completely knocked out.

Tzuyu grows worried, throwing her towel into a basket in the corner of her room. “Do you need something to help you sleep?”

Mina shook her head, gesturing for the younger girl to come closer. “Let’s talk.”

So they do, with Tzuyu sitting on the edge of the bed. Just talking about whatever comes up but not about Dahyun or Momo or anything of the sort. Tzuyu just went on and on about school and Mina just went on about her family, especially about her brother and his wife and how she’s pregnant but has not told him yet because she wants to surprise him on his birthday. They both finish up their conversation by saying good night and Mina wrapping her arms around Tzuyu so that the both of them could fit on the bed and sleep with comforting warmth.

* * *

  
  


Chaeyoung is the first to get up in the morning, surprised when she sees Tzuyu in Mina’s arm sleeping. It takes her some time to process it but then quickly shakes it off when she remembers how Mina likes to cuddle to cope with things. She begins to kick herself internally for not being there for Mina once again, even though it’s a trivial matter. She’s about to lose it complete when her mind begins to flood with Dahyun.

The short-haired girl slips out of the apartment and takes the bus to the hospital. It was only 8 in the morning and despite getting only 4 hours of sleep, she was not tired. The fresh air after the clearing of the rain woke her senses up.

She called Jeongyeon the moment she stepped off the bus. “Hello?”

“Hey Jeong, how is everything?”

“They moved Dahyun to another room. I’ll meet you at the front desk since it’s easy to get lost.” Jeongyeon’s tired voice brought a wave of gloominess to Chaeyoung. God, they must think that this is all their fault when it is that bitch’s fault. She thought to herself.

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

Upon entering the room, Chaeyoung felt electric waves take over her body, freezing as she sees her roommate surrounded by a lot of machinery with tubes and wires everywhere. She was about to open her mouth to speak until Jeongyeon covered her mouth.

“Nayeon is sleeping.” And gestures to a sleeping body on the couch at the other side of the room.

Chaeyoung looks around, tilting her head. “When did they switch rooms?”

“Like, an hour after you guys left.”

“Have they said when she could possibly wake?”

“From today to whenever. They’re unsure because she hit her head hard.”

The short girl winces and walks closer to her resting friend, with so much pleading in her mind for her friend to wake up soon. Chaeyoung didn’t realize how much her friend had meant her until last night and it pains her so much that it had to be realized this way.

Dahyun’s right hand was completely bandaged and wrapped so heavily and tubes were running into her upper arm. Her friend was ghost white and every color that Dahyun had before the crash seemed to be gone. Chaeyoung worries about how her friend will carry this trauma with her for her whole life. She puts her hand lightly on top of Dahyun’s bandages, wanting to cry but stops herself because she knows she’s gonna wake Nayeon up if she does and everyone will be having a crying festival.

They have all had their equal share of vicissitudes, but Dahyun’s hits places where no one can reach. Imagine being her age and receiving a full ride to college, doing so well in school, and then getting into a life-changing car accident. That’s just too much for Chaeyoung to think about and to know that someone as amazing as Dahyun will live with it… It’s just too much.

“You guys should go home and rest. Both of you smell and need your rest.”

Jeongyeon punches Chaeyoung in the arm after her statements. “I don’t want to wake Nayeon up. She’s been crying all night.”

But before the short girl can say anything, Jeongyeon had already made her way to Nayeon to wake her up, tapping her girlfriend’s cheeks. Nayeon was about to fuss but immediately got up and greeted Chaeyoung.

“Hey sweetie.” And her face contorts and she’s about to cry but doesn’t.

The small girl hugs her friend tightly. “Hey granny. Feeling any better?”

Giggles filled the room, and Chaeyoung swears she feels a little bit better than she was last night. Nayeon and Jeongyeon take their leave and Chaeyoung grabs a chair to sit closer to Dahyun’s bed.

Tears well up in her eyes, but doesn’t fall. Why? Maybe it’s because her friend is still alive. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t have it in her to cry anymore. The world has been absolutely trash to her friends and herself. If Chaeyoung could, she would grab ahold of this world and throw it into oblivion so that everything would be gone and there would be no problems to encounter.

“Hey.” It was Jihyo, who had a clipboard in her hand and was beside Chaeyoung now.

The younger girl was startled, almost falling off her chair. “H-hey.”

“I never got your name.”

“It’s Chaeyoung.”

The doctor nodded her head, and then looked at Dahyun. Scribbling onto some paper on her clipboard and flipping through pages.

And so casually, she says, “Sana is awake.”

Chaeyoung has never gotten so mad in such a short time until now. “So?”

“I’m sorry on her behalf. She’s an idiot and I know she didn’t mean it.”

“What are you? Her mom or something?” Chaeyoung scoffs but then grows extremely serious when Jihyo doesn’t speak for a moment.

Jihyo put her hands down to her side, her hand loosely holding her board.

“We’re girlfriends.”

She must’ve seen the fire in Chaeyoung’s eyes because she was now nervous, shaking almost.

“What’s Momo then, your guys’ dog?”

“I am not too sure.” Jihyo shifts closer to the door. “But they’ll leave me soon.”

Chaeyoung soften just a tiny bit, not knowing what to say next. “Don’t you hate Momo?”

The doctor shakers her head. “I find it hard to hate and love someone more than Sana.”

“She deserves death.”

“No.”

“You’re right, it’s Momo.”

“No.”

Chaeyoung stands up and grabs the collar of Jihyo’s coat but doesn’t pull her in. She just held the coat in her hand and Jihyo knew that the small girl was up to no good so she tried her best to stay calm.

“I’m sorry but I don’t think anyone deserves to get hurt anymore.” She says softly, her voice echoing in Chaeyoung’s head.

And Chaeyoung wants to make a smart remark, she wants to say something back so that Jihyo would shut up and leave. But she doesn’t. Instead she lets go of Jihyo’s coat and stays silent while her mind has thoughts bouncing around her head.

“Let’s end all the hurt right here.” Chaeyoung thought to herself. Thinking back to when she had fought Momo and how the older girl didn’t lay a single finger on her. Thinking about how JIhyo came to apologize, hell, it was probably Jihyo’s doing that Dahyun is in a nice room.

It takes _a lot_ in Chaeyoung to say these next few words.

“I want to speak to Sana.”

  
  


* * *

Jihyo walks into the room to see Momo talking softly to Sana, not paying any attention to anything in the world. Jihyo hated to see and know, but at this point anyone with a normal functioning brain can see that Momo is in love with Sana. The same can’t be said about the other girl though since Sana looks at everyone the same. She has her moments but her love has been occasional. Jihyo knows it well.

“Momo…” , Sana and and Momo give their attention to Jihyo, “I need you to come with me for a moment.”

Momo doesn’t budge until Sana whispers a soft. “Go.” Jihyo leads the girl around the corner and they bump into Chaeyoung.

“I told you to go around.” Jihyo sighs. The atmosphere grows intense as Chaeyoung doesn’t reply, glaring at Momo.

“What are you doing?” Momo cautiously asks the small girl. Chaeyoung bites the inside of her cheeks to stop herself from unleashing out all her anger.

“Momo, come on.” The doctor is now grabbing the girl’s hand and turning a corner while Momo catches Chaeyoung walking into Sana’s room.

She’s about to go ballistic and run off until Jihyo speaks. “It’ll be okay. You know I wouldn’t let her hurt Sana.”

“She’s going to hurt Sana.” Momo says as Jihyo’s words go from one ear out the other.

“Did you forget who I am?” Jihyo says incredulously.

And Momo thought for a moment until she remembered who Jihyo was.

  
  


* * *

Chaeyoung almost wants to walk back out when she sees Sana because she had a feeling she would burst out in anger at Sana but after seeing the girl wrapped in bandages and looking as pale as a ghost, Chaeyoung felt bad. She has only seen Sana once in her life and it was at a party. The same party where Sana and Momo met. She sits where Momo sat and before she could move another muscle, Sana squints and when she sees the short girl, she speaks.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what was going through my head last night. God, I’m so sorry.” Sana’s voice was low and every word was drawled out. She was putting every energy and life she had so that Chaeyoung will know and understand her.

The short-haired girl shrugs but in the inside, she’s fighting a monster that is urging her to cry. “We all have our moments. I think the one who needs to be apologized to the most is my friend, Dahyun.”

“Dahyun.” Sana echoes back, before asking, “What’s your name again?”

“Chaeyoung.”

“I’m sorry, I can barely see right now.” The blonde slightly moves her head to have a better look at Chaeyoung, who was twiddling with her fingers, as if trying to distract herself. “Momo told me everything.”

Chaeyoung looks up from her fingers and makes eye contact with Sana, and quietly asks, “What do you mean by everything?”

“That I had hit your friend.”

“And that’s it?”

“There’s more, but I think you’re here to talk about more important matters.”

She was right. Her voice was soft and Chaeyoung wanted to leave because she hates the thought of Sana being _nice and humble_. It’s hard to think that the same girl who was a part in ruining her best friend’s relationship and hitting her close friend is the same girl who is just as innocent as anyone else could be in this world.

“Yeah. It’s about you, Momo, Mina, and everyone else in this stupid hole we’ve all be responsible for digging.”

“Mostly Momo and I.”

“Mostly you and Momo, yeah.” Chaeyoung agrees and continues on. “I really don’t know where you had planned to go with Momo but do you still have that in mind?”

“Yes but Jihyo won’t let me until I fully recover. Why?”

“I just wanted to know if you’ll be staying here or not.”

“I doubt we’ll ever some back. Do you want us to leave or something?”

Chaeyoung raises her brows, “Obviously.”

Sana lets out a small giggle and mumbles something that Chaeyoung can’t hear but knows that the girl is also agreeing.

“I was half expecting you to beat me up like you did with Momo.”

A faint smile was on Chaeyoung’s face. “Me too but you’ve been hurt enough.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” And Chaeyoung lets out a sigh. “I can’t believe I was about to come in here and tell you to go on your knees when Dahyun wakes up.”

“Oh my God, is that why you are here?”

“Not anymore I guess. You seem to know and accept your mistakes and that’s the important part of this whole thing. Still want you to apologize though.” Chaeyoung nods to herself before looking at Sana’s bandaged leg. “Will you be able to walk?”

“Yes, but not so soon.”

“They said that Dahyun will have to go through a program or something, to be able to walk and strengthen her muscles again.”

“Jihyo told me that too.” And she pauses before adding, “I wish for the both of us to have a fast recovery.”

It was like some sort of bond have formed between them and Chaeyoung feels sick thinking about what Mina would think of her after this. Chaeyoung is practically sitting in a room with someone she’d kill but here she is, having a conversation like nothing is new. Talking as if they are friends.

* * *

For the past several nights, Jeongyeon has been having nightmares. Nightmares where Dahyun is laying out in the cold, pouring rain in the middle of the street. Blood everywhere and scraps of metal from a car wreck was everywhere. A nightmare where Dahyun is helpless and dying while Jeongyeon is forced to watch and unable to help.

“Jeong, baby.”

It was Nayeon that was always there for here, tired and annoyed but doesn’t show it. Waking her up and reassuring her that everything was fine. Coddling her everytime she wakes up in tears.

“What time is it?” Jeongyeon asks, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. Nayeon shakes her head. “We are not going visiting Dahyun until you get enough rest.”

The younger girl wants to scream and yell, but she knows Nayeon just wants her to be okay. The anger is evident in her eyes and Nayeon, who was very exhausted, had tears escape from her eyes. God, Jeongyeon hates it when Nayeon cries. She pulls the girl into a hug and kisses her forehead.

“I’m sorry.”

Nayeon shakes her head. They both know it has been extremely rough. The constant thought of Dahyun in a hospital bed never wavers. They try to distract themselves but always manages to find themselves in a breakdown almost every other hour. Jeongyeon is about to lose her job because she can’t function right at work. Nayeon, she’s doing fine, but barely holding it. It was only yesterday that they both agreed to call off work for a week, in hopes that Dahyun will wake up by then.

Jeongyeon is usually the most steady-headed of the two and Nayeon is the emotional one. But here, we have Nayeon keeping Jeongyeon in her place and taking care of her. She finds it hard to put in words how she feels for Nayeon right now. She probably would’ve gone super crazy if she weren’t here with her.

“I’m scared to go back to sleep.” The short-haired girl says as she runs her fingers through Nayeon’s hair. The smell of citrus reminded her of home, and most important of all, Nayeon.

“You don’t have to go to sleep. Just lay with me, yeah?”

Her voice was soft and it made Jeongyeon just want to hold her in her arms forever. She wants her to know how much she means to her and how much she loves her. Wants her to know that her hands are super big but super cute. Wants her to know that whenever she smiles and shows her bunny teeth, Jeongyeon falls in love with her all over again but twice as much.

“Nayeon.” Jeongyeon starts but doesn’t finish. She’s really bad at this kind of stuff, showing affection and letting her feelings out. It’s all bottled up inside of her and she badly wants to let it all out, just for Nayeon.

The older girl notices that Jeongyeon doesn’t continue and stays quiet, her hand finding Jeongyeon’s. “Yeah?”

Silence, except for their breathing. Jeongyeon thinks for a moment, trying to gather her scattered thoughts. She was always like this and wishes she wasn’t.

“I love you.”

.

.

.

“That took you longer than expected.” Nayeon giggles. Jeongyeon would be irritated and annoyed right now but finds it hard to be. Not when the love of her life is giggling and setting her heart at ease. She brings Nayeon’s hand to her lips, softly kissing her knuckles.

There are words that are stuck in her throat. Something inside of her wants to tell Nayeon something. Something more than “I love you”. Something much more but she doesn’t know how to form such sentences. In the darkness, she stares longingly into Nayeon’s eyes. Her eyes were twinkling and _oh_ , Jeongyeon wanted it to stay like this for eternity.

* * *

In the end, Mina cancelled her trip to America after a long talk with her sister-in-law. Not being able to be a part of a happy moment with family means nothing to her when her close friends are falling and breaking apart. It took Chaeyoung a couple of days, but she’s been able to hold back her tears whenever she sees Dahyun. It’s Tzuyu that’s helping her, helping everyone. She’s been keeping her head up for everyone and making sure that everything is fine on everyone’s end.

Sometimes, the young Japanese girl would need to let things out at night. She would need someone to talk to, someone to hear her out. At first, she thought about calling Chaeyoung but she knew that she was too tired with everything in life to be up late at night, listening to Mina’s worries. So she resorted to Tzuyu. Of course, she felt bad for keeping the girl up because she had school too, but Tzuyu didn’t seem to mind. Mina would go on and on, rambling. Not making sense sometimes but Tzuyu would always have something to reply back with. Supporting Mina and giving her advice. That’s what she did and that was all that Mina needed.

“You should date Chaeyoung.” Mina brings up one night. She’s wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underwear and is sitting in the living room, wrapped up in blankets. Her phone was on the end table, charging.

“Chaeyoung?” Tzuyu’s soft, mellow voice sounds from the phone. “I don’t know about that.”

“What do you mean?” Mina questioned, scooting closer to her phone.

A small ‘hmm’ comes from Tzuyu’s end. “She’s not my type.”

“What?” Mina was slightly offended. “You guys compliment each other so much.”

She waits for a reply, trying to wrap her head around the fact that this whole time, it has been one sided for her best friend.

“She’s like a sister.”

“Chaeyoung likes you a lot.”

“Okay and?”

Mina pulls her phone from her charger, holding it a few inches from her face. “Don’t be so insensitive.”

“Listen.”

“I’m listening.”

Tzuyu lets out a deep sigh. “It’s hard to explain”

The older girl stays silent, waiting for the other girl to continue. Small whines can be heard from the other end.

“It’s like…” Tzuyu trails off, whining once more before talking again. “She gives me hints that she likes me but I already know and I don’t want to be mean so I go along with it, you know? Like, she’s all poetic and artsy and everything and it’s cute but I don’t think that we’ll last long. I don’t know why. We talked about this a few weeks ago, you know, about relationships and whatnot and I guess the topic somehow became about us and I’m sure she knows that we won’t last long too. Even though I’ve told her that I’m not looking to be in a relationship, she won’t stop like, giving me signs.”

“Signs of what?”

“Liking me! Wanting to be with me!” Tzuyu is obviously frustrated.

Mina’s frustrated too, groaning. “You’re such an idiot. Just tell her that you like someone and she’ll stop being overly affectionate.”

“What if she thinks I like her when I really don’t?”

“Make up a person that isn’t Chaeyoung or something. Say it’s someone from your class. I don’t know, just don’t lead Chaeyoung on like this.”

“I can’t just lie.” Tzuyu whines.

“Okay, well then don’t be so easy on her.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Mina, throughout the past week, has learned that Tzuyu is a frustrating person sometimes. She has her own struggles and problems but she hardly ever brings them up and deals with it herself, and sometimes, they’re poorly dealt with.

“Fine, I’ll tell Chaeyoung myself that you don’t think of her that way.”

“Thank you.” The younger girl’s voice returns to being soft and mellow. “Chaeyoung is a nice girl though. Whoever has her would be super lucky.”

Mina scoffs. “Yeah, it could’ve been you.”

“Listen, I’m-” And a pause.

“You’re what?”

“I’m going to go to bed. If you need anything just call me.” And with that, Tzuyu hangs up. Mina takes it that the younger girl is mad, because who wouldn’t be after that? She realizes how pushy she was tonight. With this whole Chaeyoung thing. Mina wants to rewind and instead talked about dogs or animals or something. Something that Tzuyu actually liked.

She clicks the small telephone icon near Tzuyu’s contact name. Tzuyu picks up the phone after two rings. “What?” Yep, she’s definitely mad.

“I’m sorry.” Mina holds her breathe, listening to the rustling of sheets coming from the other end.

“For?”

Mina stays silent, thinking she has said enough and thinking that Tzuyu knows why she’s sorry.

“Actually, never mind. Don’t worry about it. Is that all?”

“No.” Mina freaks out to herself for a moment, trying to figure out what to say next.”Will you be at the hospital tomorrow?”

“Yeah, aren’t you going to be there too.”

“Mhm.”

Silence. God, she hated when Tzuyu leaves the conversation to die. It’s like she’s indirectly being told that Tzuyu doesn’t want to talk to her right now. Mina looks at the time and let’s herself drown in defeat. “I’ll let you sleep now. Good night.”

Tzuyu speaks before Mina can hang up. “I’m sorry about what I’ve said about Chaeyoung. I know she must mean a lot to you and to hear me speak about her like that… I’m sorry.”

“No, no, you’re good. Get some sleep. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Mina hangs up this time and lets her arms slip under her blanket, savoring the warmth that was given to her. It takes her ten minutes to find the energy to get up and migrate to her room and as she lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, she thinks. About Momo. About Chaeyoung. About Sana. About Dahyun. About Tzuyu. She misses the warmth of Momo in bed. She misses her cooking, misses her dumb but casual remarks. Tzuyu’s voice was healing to Mina but she’d always snap back to reality when they’re off the phone. She would wind up in bed, sometimes crying. How can Momo bring her the best moments in life and also the worst?

She thinks of that question every night and makes no progress in finding the answer.

  
  


* * *

Jihyo hates Momo. It’s like everything she tells her goes from one ear out the other. It’s frustrating to Jihyo that Sana loves someone like that. In all honesty, Jihyo thinks that Sana can do so much better, way better than this mess.

“I’m going to give you a shot. It’s going to hurt a little bit.” Jihyo says with a syringe in her hand. Momo’s eyes widen and her body tenses up.

Sana was calm about it though. “Okay.”

“No, it’s going to hurt you.” Momo says looking from Sana to Jihyo.

Jihyo found this really cute at first, because Momo is pure and innocent. After a few times, it got incredibly annoying.

“She’ll be fine.” The doctor says, slightly pushing Momo to the side.

Momo has the look of disbelief on her face, giving Sana signals that she doesn’t want her to get hurt.

“Momo, I’ll be okay.”

“It’s going to hurt.” Momo looked liked she was about to break down at the thought of Sana being in slight pain. “It’s going to make you numb and start making you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s going to help her recover, now move.” And Jihyo slow sticks the needle in Sana’s upper arm, injecting the liquid.

Sana winces and Momo is about to pounce on Jihyo when the doctor pulls out the syringe and turns to Momo. “There. That was it. She’s going to feel tired so let her rest.”

It came off as a threat more than a friendly information given by a doctor. Momo nodded, still glaring at Jihyo and immediately grabbed Sana’s hand once the the room was empty besides for them two.

“Momo, you worry too much.”

Sana had a serious tone and Momo felt like a kicked puppy. “Because I love you.”

In a sense, Sana was starting to get tired of Momo. Is it weird to get tired of someone you love so much? It’s normal right? Sana gets tired of Jihyo all the time but she still loves her. So why? Why is she feeling this way about Momo? This is what Sana has been dreading. She wants to actually love Momo, but it’s like an unseen force coming in between them.

It was late one night, Jihyo had gone home to rest and it was just Momo and Sana. Momo was falling asleep, gripping Sana’s hand tightly.

“Sana, I love you. Do you love me?”

Momo was always doing this, asking Sana if she loves her. Sana takes it that it’s a security thing and she understands. Momo just wants to be reassured.

This time was the first time that Sana has hesitated to answer back. Both of them knew it. Sana answered back as usual of course. “I love you, Momo.” And added, “Sorry, I was dozing off.” Which was half true.

Momo, satisfied with the answer that was given to her, put her head down and closed her eyes, murmuring a good night to Sana. The younger girl also says good night but she doesn’t close her eyes. She lays awake, thinking about Momo. Thinking about all the mess they’ve been through. Momo loves her. That’s for sure, no one will ever doubt that again. Sana though… Sana doesn’t know if she really does love Momo. The tiny little voice inside of her head tells her that if she stops questioning herself all the time then maybe, maybe she can actually give Momo the affection she deserves. The real affection.

“Jihyo, I need to talk to you.” Sana says one day when Jihyo is checking up on her. Momo is confused and so is the doctor. “Alone.”

Worriedly glance at Momo, Jihyo nods. “Okay.”

The two Japanese girls look at each other, before one walks out the room and the other tears up.

“Jihyo it’s happening.”

The young girl was shocked, not knowing what to say or think. “What is? You’re not going to die if that’s what you thin-”

“No!” Sana reaches out her hand for Jihyo’s, in which she holds softly. “No… no…”

As gentle as she can, Jihyo speaks. “What’s wrong, baby?” She wipes away Sana’s tears with her thumb. “Shh, take your time.”

Sana sniffles, “It’s Momo… my god… Momo.”

Jihyo doesn’t jump to conclusions. She waits for Sana to speak and hold her ground. She listens as Momo’s name is repeated several times, making the air around them heavy.

“I just want to love Momo.”

“You do, don’t you?”

This is when Sana looks up, her lips trembling and her grip on Jihyo’s hand weakening. She’s lost it, she’s gone. She’s not the same Sana that she used to know. She’s not the Sana that used to love Momo with her entire heart.

She shakes her head and all Jihyo can do is try her best to comfort the lost and confused girl. Sana almost stops making noise immediately when Momo knocks on the door.

“Are you guys done talking?” Her muffled voice sent a wave of sadness over Sana.

“Not yet.” Jihyo says, before slightly leaning down and pressing her lips on Sana’s bandaged head. “You’re going to keep me updated okay? Whatever is going on in that head of yours, you have to let me know.”

Sana nods, letting Jihyo wipe away her remaining tears before she just bursts out again. She begs Jihyo, to find a way to keep Momo away from her for a day or two because all she needs right now is space and time to think about what she’s doing. “Please.” She pleads in her breaking voice before the younger girl agrees and reassures that she’ll keep Momo away.

“I can’t keep her from you for long though.” Jihyo says, before letting go of Sana’s hand and leaving the room.

She can hear Jihyo making up an excuse for Momo to not enter the room. “I don’t think she will be able to have any visitors for a couple of days. She’s going through a process of recovery right now that requires for her to be left alone majority of the time. It’s nothing personal.”

A complete lie.

“So I can’t go in right now?”

The blonde can hear the worriedness and pain. All it just does is send a wave of unnamed emotions through her entire being. She wants to get up and run away. Run away from Momo and Jihyo and every other damn person that has walked into her life.

The time she spends alone (with Jihyo and several other nurses coming in to check on her) she begins to feel more and more unlike herself. She can feel herself changing, even to Jihyo and Jihyo knows it too. They both know it.

It must be the accident that changed her. She retraces her thoughts and goes into more depth about them. She was speeding in the rain. She offered for them to run away. She gave her everything she could. It was all for Momo. She went through all of that for Momo. How can someone that meant so much to her, mean so little right now? How can someone that Sana wished to be with for life be the same person that she only needed for a couple of months?

It was only on the first night of her being alone that she came to the conclusion. The conclusion that she’s a white canvas and the color that Momo was painting on her was slowly changing. Slowly becoming white like the canvas.

  
  


* * *

Dahyun swears that she’s been out for only 2 minutes. Her eyes open, but slowly. It was like weight has been added to her eyelids and all she can do right now is squint. Whatever room she was in was very dim. She tried moving her head but it hurt so much and took so much energy. Then she tried moving her arm, which was almost impossible. It was like everything in her body weighed more than it should be.

 _Maybe I should go back to sleep._ She thinks to herself.

Before she could think of anything else, a barrage of memories start coming at her, filling her head. Dahyun can’t process it all at once but her senses were slowly coming to her and her eyes seemed to gradually open as time goes by.

Water, she wants water before she does anything else. She’s never needed something so much in her life. She tries to move her arm again, and through the numbness of her entire body, she can feel a heavy cast on her arm.

Dahyun feels like she’s about to die. She’s dizzy and she can’t move and most important of all, _she needs water_.

She hears a gasp. Her eyes dart around, trying to find the owner of the gasp. A figure appears on her left side and Dahyun can see her face. She’s seen this face before, Chaeyoung showed her a picture of this girl. It has got to be that Tzuyu girl.

So Dahyun prays in her head for the girl to get her a cup of water but instead, the girl pushes on a button that is near Dahyun’s head.

Her head hurts and all she wants is water. _Water._ She repeats the word several times in her head, hoping that the girl would hear her. Dahyun tries to talk but finds herself whispering. Her voice raspy and dry. “Water.”

“Oh!” And the girl immediately rushes to the other side of the bed and makes Dahyun a cup of water, helping the girl drink.

“Thank you.” But Dahyun mouths it since no word can come out.

Her mind still a blur, she tries moving her head, but barely being able to do so.

“You shouldn’t move until the doctors come.”

The doctors?

What happened?

Why am I in a hospital?

It takes her several seconds to untangle her thoughts and the memories come flying by, so quick that Dahyun has to focus really hard to make sense of what had happened.

The girl pulls out her phone and taps on it a couple times before placing it to her ear. “Hello? Jeongyeon-”

The jumble of mess in her mind cleared out. Dahyun remembers when she hears that name. Jeongyeon.

That’s right, I was on my way to pick up Nayeon and Jeongyeon from a party. She remembers being ejected from her car and hitting the pavement. She remembers the shards of glass cutting her skin. She remembers breathing in bloodied water. The memories of the pain came all at once and in a way, she felt it all over again. The burning of her stomach, god, that was the worst one of all.

_How did I not die?_

_Is this a dream?_

Dahyun wants to scream and cry, because this overwhelming sensation is taking over her, drowning her. She wants to run away and never look back. She wants to rewind back to before the crash had happened.

Her chest becomes heavy and she can feel bricks upon bricks laying on her. What if I can do anything anymore? What if I’m already dead? Even if I am not, my soul has already left me.

She swears that her mind is about to explode and she’s about to pass out until a doctor rushes in and heads straight to her side. “I’m going to need you to stay still okay?”

She hears him but pretends she doesn’t. She doesn’t try to move anymore. She feels like she doesn’t need to try for anything anymore. She’s gone.

* * *

  
  


Chaeyoung wakes up to a phone call from Tzuyu.

“Dahyun is awake.”

Those three words made a tsunami of emotions hit her. She immediately jumped from her bed and dressed, making her way to the hospital as quickly as she can. It doesn’t feel real, it doesn’t reach to Chaeyoung’s head. Not yet. She has to see Dahyun for herself.

As her hand touches the doorknob to Dahyun’s room, a shock sparks at her fingers. It was like it was letting her know that this was real. This is it. It’s going to be okay now, right?

She finds herself frozen on the spot, unable to proceed forward. She just stands there, staring at hand gripping on the doorknob. She’s not ready.

“Are you going to go in?”

The short girl tenses up, ready to bust Momo’s face in but when she turns around, she sees that the girl is barely holding up. Not like Chaeyoung can care but an invisible force stops her, holding her fists to her sides.

Momo wears a faint smile on her face. “I heard that she’s awake.”

God, Chaeyoung wanted to hit her so bad. “Yeah, that’s why I’m here.” And she looks up and down on the other girl before asking. “Why are you here?”

“I think Sana hates me.”

Chaeyoung snorts, mumbling. “Who doesn’t.” It was barely audible but Momo heard it.

“You- You should go in.”

As much as she hated to say it, she felt guilt building up inside of her. Maybe she was too cruel? She brushed it off, and set her hand on the doorknob again.

“Please leave. Mina is on her way and I don’t want her to breakdown again.”

She waits until Momo’s walks away in silent and once she passed a corner, Chaeyoung let out a frustrated sigh, before opening the door and walking in.

Doctors and nurses surrounded Dahyun, checking over her bandages and wires. Chaeyoung wants to run to Dahyun and hug her, tell her how much she means to her and how she’s so happy that she’s awake. She can’t though, she doesn’t know why. All she does is walk a few steps before locking into place, unable to move. What’s this feeling?

Nayeon runs to her and embraces the small girl, sobbing. Why can’t Chaeyoung cry too?

Jeongyeon rushes over with a smile, grabbing Chaeyoung’s hand and shaking it excitedly. Why can’t Chaeyoung be excited too?

She smiles when she sees Tzuyu, who also gives her a tired smile.

“Please try not to overwhelm her.” The doctors say before taking their leave.

Why is Dahyun so lifeless? Even more than she was when she was in her little coma.

She approaches Dahyun’s side ever so slowly, with Jeongyeon and Nayeon guiding her. “Hey... How are you feeling?” Chaeyoung asks as she takes ahold of her friend’s hand.

Dahyun doesn’t speak, until a small smile can be seen forming from her lips. “Okay.” Her voice low and hollow.

Nayeon cries louder than ever, repeatedly apologizing. Jeongyeon was also apologizing, only tearing up.

“They said to not overwhelm her.” Tzuyu says from the far side of the room. Nayeon nods and wipes away her tears but Jeongyeon begins to cry.

“It was my damn fault.”

Chaeyoung badly wants to kick Jeongyeon and tell her to shut up, but Tzuyu was the first to take action.

“I think we need to give Chaeyoung and Dahyun time alone.” And the tall girl grabs the two crying girls out of the room, leaving only Chaeyoung to be with Dahyun.

The laying girl’s grip on Chaeyoung’s hand was firm, as if she’s trying to keep her there forever. There’s so much that she wants to say, so much that she wants Dahyun to know. She wants to tell her about school. Tell her about everything and anything.

“Am I really alive?” Her voice was quiet. Chaeyoung nods, unable to answer. She expected this, she knew something like this was going to happen. Dahyun’s going to have a hard time living after this and it’s going to carry on her for the rest of her life.

The younger girl bites the inside of her cheeks. “I don’t know what’s going through your mind, Dahyun, but I’ll be here for everything. For you.”

“Thank you. How long-” Dahyun pauses, as if to recollect herself, “How long have I been gone?”

“Nine days.”

“What… What’s today?”

“Tuesday morning. It’s 2 AM right now.”

Silence. Dahyun looked like she didn’t want to talk anymore.

“My head hurts, dude.” Dahyun talks anyways.

“I bet it does. You should rest up, I’ll be here.”

“Don’t leave.”

“I won’t.”

“Put it on something.”

“On my left nut.”

Dahyun smiles, and Chaeyoung can feel it. The happiness that wasn’t present when she walked into the room is now there.

“Okay. I’ll sleep.” She whispers, closing her eyes and easing her breathing.

If the younger girl could wish for anything right now, it would be for Dahyun to have a fast recovery and be happy.

  
  


* * *

Once Jeongyeon and Nayeon were seated and finally calmed down, Tzuyu made her way to a vending machine to get them and herself drinks. She’s been up all night doing her homework. The five had agreed that one person (or two in Jeongyeon’s and Nayeon’s case) would stay with Dahyun every night, just in case anything occured.

Tzuyu is super happy that Dahyun is awake, even though she doesn’t know much about her. She was just as important as any other friend would be and to see everyone in higher moods was relieving to her heart. Except Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung was acting a bit weird and Tzuyu noticed it.

“Hey.”

Tzuyu’s head perked up from the buttons she was about to press on the vending machine. The blue light tinting her face. It was Jihyo and she was in her casual wear.

“Hi. How can I help you?” Tzuyu was anxious, and she doesn’t know why.

Jihyo smiles, a motherly smile that sends warmth down Tzuyu’s body. “Just swinging by to visit Sana. I heard that Dahyun-”

“- is awake. Yeah.” Tzuyu goes back to focusing on sliding money in the machine and pressing the needed buttons. “I also heard that you have some sort of ban on Momo.”

“Uh huh.” Jihyo absentmindedly nodded. “Yeah, I think Sana needs time to figure out her life.”

The taller girl hums and reaches through the vending machine’s flap to get her drinks. Her focus right now is the drinks in her hand and getting them to her friends.

“Can we talk?”

Tzuyu stops walking, slightly turning her body. “About?”

“About Sana.”

“Why would you want to talk about Sana to me?”

“Mina tells me that you’re great mental support.” Jihyo bites her lower lip. “And I think that you can talk some sense into Sana.”

A flare of irritation sparks inside of Tzuyu. “I’m just a good listener, that’s all.”

“I’ve heard otherwise.”

Tzuyu’s not the type to get mad easily, she’s not a sensitive person at all. So why is she so heated right now? Why does she feel betrayed even though Mina is only spreading good words about her?

She looks at the drinks in her hands before looking back up at Jihyo. “I’ll get back to you after I’m done doing what I’m doing.”

And she walks away, hearing Jihyo sigh.

Tzuyu walks as slowly as possible, almost dragging her feet, until she reaches her two friends. Nayeon had already fallen asleep on Jeongyeon’s shoulder and the other girl was staring into space and hadn’t notice Tzuyu until words were spoken.

“I brought uh, strawberry milk for the both of you. I forgot what you two had wanted.” Tzuyu says, putting two small bottles in Jeongyeon’s hand.

The older girl nodded, slightly smiling. “Thank you, Tzuyu. You should go home and rest up. I think we got it from here.”

Something inside of her wants to deny the offer but to be quite frank, staying up late at night doesn’t make her day go well half the time. So she nods, bidding goodbye to Jeongyeon, telling her to not overexert herself and to call her if anyone needs anything.

She almost forgets that she has to meet up with Jihyo until she sees her in the lobby. The doctor sees her too, and approaches her almost immediately. “Where are you going?”

Tzuyu was honest. “I was about to leave. Sorry, what did you want me to do now?”

“Come on, follow me.” She walks, with Tzuyu trailing her.

"Thank you by the way." Jihyo adds. "I have all my faith in you."

Of all people, why did Jihyo want her to talk to Sana? It’s weird and unusual to ask someone you barely know to talk to someone who doesn’t know a hair about you. What’s Sana going to do? Spill her life story and Tzuyu has to pity her and give her the best advice she can give?

Momo is pacing back and forth in front of Sana’s room, and any normal person can see that she’s the definition of ‘dead inside’. She sees Jihyo and Tzuyu and her face contorts in confusion. “What’re you guys doing?”

“Tzuyu’s here to talk to Sana.”

It was evident that Momo didn’t like the idea at all. “Why?”

“She’s here to help Sana and help let you in this room again.” Jihyo seems irritated to. “You need to go home and rest. You don’t know if Sana will let you in later today.”

Disheartened but compliant, Momo looks at Tzuyu before looking back to Jihyo. “Sure, I guess.”

Tzuyu watches as Momo walk past them, so tiredly and so slowly. Until she was out of sight, Tzuyu turned back to Jihyo who was waiting for her at the door.

The room was dim and the TV was on, lighting up the walls. A blonde girl with bandage wrapped around her forehead was asleep, breathing in and out slowly. This is the first time that Tzuyu has ever seen Sana and she finds herself out of breath when she sees the sleeping angel.

“Sana, baby, wake up.” Jihyo softly and quietly wakes Sana up. “Someone’s here to talk with you.”

The blonde grumbles, opening her eyes. It was right then that Tzuyu made eye contact with her and a whole set of emotions came crashing at her. God, she’s so pretty. Tzuyu thinks to herself.

“Who’s that?” Sana says as Jihyo adjusts her pillow. “I’m kind of blind here.”

“Her name is Tzuyu. I brought her here to talk with you.”

“About what?”

Ah, so it seems that Sana wasn’t told about this. Tzuyu wants to say that she’s sorry for interrupting the girl’s sleep but stays still, not moving a single muscle in her body.

Jihyo, unable to talk for some reason, stays silent until Sana speaks up again. “Jihyo, I told you I can do this alone.” It’s like the young doctor stepped on a landmine. “I’ve told you many times that if I needed help, I would tell you. I’m fine, Jihyo.”

“Just this once. Talk to her. She’s harmless and very sweet. Please.” It was like Jihyo’s mind wasn’t functioning right. Like something paralyzed her. “You talk and cry in your sleep. Please.”

Sana looked defeated, like she wanted to rip off her hair. Her lips were pressed, as if she were holding herself from saying something that would hurt Jihyo.

“If she doesn’t help me, then this is the last time you ever do something behind my back. Okay?”

Tzuyu gets a glance from Jihyo, a look with warning and much intimidation. “Tzuyu, this is Sana. Please -”, there was an emphasis on ‘please’, “- take care of her until she kicks you out or something.”

“Tzuyu, I’m kicking you out.” Sana says with no hesitation.

Something tugged at Tzuyu’s heart.

“Psh, I’ll go now.” Jihyo says, walking past Tzuyu to leave the room, whispering, “Try your best.”

There was so much burden, so much hope, that Tzuyu was responsible for. She didn’t ask for this. She didn’t want to do this. She wants to go home and sleep. She wants to go to school without having to sleep through all of her classes. But her next actions say something else.

She grabs a chair and slides it so that she’s seated by Sana’s side. Sana whined. “God, don’t listen to that crazy girl. I’m sorry she dragged you here.”

“No, it’s okay.”

_Oh._

_What is this?_

_This feeling?_

“What makes her think that I’d tell a complete stranger my personal business? She’s so dumb sometimes, I swear.” Sana turns her head to Tzuyu. “You can leave.”

_Oh._

_What if I want to stay?_

“I’m good.”

Sana sighs. “How much did she pay you?”

“Not a single penny.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

Tzuyu shrugs, unable to answer that question. Unable to even answer her own questions. “I don’t know. I wanted to try to help, I guess. I mean it's not everyday someone comes up to you and asks you for help.”

“Well first of all,” The older girl begins, “I only know your name. I can’t even see you right now because I don’t have contacts on or my glasses. Second of all, I don’t even know if I can trust you. Third-”

“Right, because I’m gonna go around telling people your problems. You think Jihyo would do that to you?”

“I’m just saying that you are a complete and total stranger to me.”

“Okay, we don’t have to talk about the big matters. Tell me about your day. Tell me what why they won’t give you your contacts or glasses. Just talk, it doesn’t have to specifically be about whatever is bothering you.”

“You don’t need to gain my trust. I said what I said.”

“I just want to know you better.” That wasn’t a lie. Tzuyu was curious. She doesn’t know why, she just is.

_Wow._

_I feel like my heart is about to jump out._

_I kind of like this feeling._

_I kind of hate it_

Tzuyu continued, “Or even better, tell me where your glasses are so I can get them for you.” Sana slightly shakes her head. “I don’t know where it’s at. Jihyo knows though.”

“Jihyo!” Tzuyu shouts, looking at the shadow under the door.

Jihyo blasts in, panic in her eyes. “What happened?” She looks from Tzuyu to Sana.

“Can you get Sana her glasses?” The young girl nonchalantly speaks, “It’ll help her stop being grouchy.”

“I’m not grouchy.” Sana says, whining.

Jihyo scowls. “I accidentally left it home after I went to your eye doctor” She folds her arms and looks from Sana to Tzuyu. “Maybe we could try something else?"

“Just go get my glasses and lets get this over with.”

The doctor rolls her eyes and leaves once again, leaving the room to fill with silence. Tzuyu remained calm outside but inside, she was fighting a raging fire. A fire that erupted out of nowhere, that completely caught her off guard. She doesn’t feel good about this feeling, it’s like trouble is going to erupt amongst the flames.

Sana was quiet for a couple seconds until she had the urge to tell Tzuyu something. “You smell good.”

The younger girl made a face. “Weirdo. Who does that? Who goes around telling people that they smell good?”

People are hardly ever blunt to Tzuyu, just because the girl is really blunt herself. If she has something to say, then she’ll say it. This is the first time that someone has ever been so bold to Tzuyu and it sets her on the edge.

“Why are you getting worked up about me complimenting you? It’s just that all I smell everyday is… well the hospital. You know what I’m talking about?” Sana pauses to cough. “By the way, you look like an angry dog when you make your face like that.”

“Thought you can’t see my face.”

“I can see outlines, idiot.”

Tzuyu’s about burst into actual flames at how annoying Sana can be. She wants to get up and leave, but something keeps her glued down. That stupid gushy feeling inside of her is to blame.

“Well, thank you for the compliment. No thank you to the insult.”

“You were asking for it.” Sana smiles.

_Why?_

_Why do I like that smile so much?_

_Why do I crave for more of her smiles?_

Tzuyu blows a raspberry, taking her phone out of her pocket, clicking the home button to check the time. It’s definitely way too late for her to be up right now and she really should sleep soon. Until she remembers about a particular thing.

“Dahyun is awake.”

The blonde only raises her eyebrows, “Oh? That’s good. Do you think they’ll let me in her room?”

“In her room? For what?”

“To apologize.”

“Oh. I mean, probably.”

“Wait, you know Dahyun?”

“Yeah, I’m friends with Chaeyoung and them.”

Sana stays silent, the gears in her head spinning. “What’s going to happen when they find out you’re talking to me?”

The younger girl shrugs. “Nothing, probably. I try not to get too… involved.”

The room gets slightly tense, with the blonde idly playing with the wires on her arm. Jihyo hates it when she does things like that but she still does it anyways. “I understand.”

Silence fills the room once again. Tzuyu takes this time to observe Sana. From her slender fingers to her perfectly sculpted face. It was like the entire universe came together with all of its goodness and formed Sana. Her round puppy eyes causes Tzuyu’s heart to do several backflips upon backflips. From her pink lips to her jawline, the younger girl momentarily loses herself in Sana. She can sit here for an eternity, just admiring the Japanese girl. Suddenly it’s her mission to understand every little detail and every little thing that is involved with Sana.

_This isn’t right._

_Get a grip._

_You’re going crazy. You need to sleep._

The tiny voices in her head keep fighting and Tzuyu can sense a war start every time she thinks about Sana.

“I know you must be tired and have things to do later on. Leave while you can, Jihyo’s not going to be back for a while.”

“I don’t have anything important to do later.” Tzuyu lies, even though she has a test in one of her classes and a speech to do. Not to mention, she has to work too.

Straining her eyes, Sana fixes her sight on the black haired girl, trying to get a good look. “I can still barely see you but aren’t you a student or something? You sound young and I think you look young.”

“I’m actually 43 and the owner of a cafe shop.” Tzuyu was joking around but Sana seemed to believe it.

“What’s a person like you hanging around a bunch of young adults?”

It takes a lot for the young girl to not burst into laughter. She bites her tongue and prays that she won’t lose it at the very moment. “I watched them grow.”

“Interesting. You’re almost 50 though, isn’t that weird?” Sana squints again. “I swear you seem like you’re 25 at least.”

* * *

  
  


Sana is still accompanied by Tzuyu when Jihyo comes back. Throughout their conversation, Sana has learned that 1. Tzuyu loves dogs 2. She has a love/hate relationship with working at her cafe 3. She’s in college

“What’s a 43 year old doing in college?”

“Hey, don’t be mean. It’s never too late.”

Sana giggles. “You’re right. Sorry.”

She finds it fun talking to Tzuyu and listening to her random stories and small rants. Sana also had her fair share of little rants, none dealing with Momo though. Tzuyu did a great job of keeping Momo away from their conversation and Sana was grateful for it. Maybe Jihyo knew what she was doing when she asked for Tzuyu to come and talk to her.

“Are you married?”

Tzuyu chuckles. “God, no. I’m too young for that.”

“I like your sense of humor.”

“You think I’m kidding.”

“You’re 43!”

“I am not! I was just kidding when I said that!”

Sana tries focusing on Tzuyu again. All she can see is just outlines of her facial features, nothing more. God, she has spent several days with her dead eyesight and the doctors don’t even care, saying she doesn’t need to worry about seeing anything since all she’ll be doing is sleep to recover, which was half true. The only reason why she doesn’t have her glasses is because the lens broke during the accident and Jihyo had to get them replaced, but in the end, she always forgot to bring the glasses to the hospital.

“I’ll have to see for myself, granny.”

“You shouldn’t trust people you’ve barely met. What if I told you that I was a serial killer and that you’re next on my list?”

“Then I’m dead.”

Their giggles die down as Jihyo knocks on the door and walks in, with Sana’s spectacles in her hand. “I got your glasses.”

“Thanks.” Sana says as she accepts her glasses, not putting them on just yet.

Jihyo nods. “No problem. How’s uh, talking coming along?”

“I think we are starting to get along.”

Tzuyu hummed in agreement.

The doctor clasps her hands together, in excitement. “Great! I’ll leave you guys alone. How long do you guys need?”

Sana shrugs. “I don’t know.’ She puts on her glasses and takes a good look at Tzuyu.

_Oh._

_This is her?_

_Wow._

It takes her a moment, but she finally finds an answer. “I think you should go home and rest. We’ll be fine.” She doesn’t take her eyes off of Tzuyu.

_I’ve never felt this before._

_What’s this?_

“Are you sure? I think I should stay just in case-”

Sana shakes her head, tearing her eyes from Tzuyu to Jihyo. “I think we got it from here. Thank you.” She was trying to get rid of Jihyo and it was evident that the girl knew it too. Jihyo blows her bangs, something she always does when she wants Sana to know “I know what you’re up to.”

It only takes a few seconds for Jihyo to leave, leaving Sana and Tzuyu alone, once more.

“How old are you really?”

“19.” Tzuyu bursts into laughter. “I got you so good.”

_I like her laugh._

_I want to hear it forever._

Sana rolls her eyes. “Shut up. You really played with my trust.” She playfully scowls.

She doesn’t know why, but something about Tzuyu makes her feel more calm. Protected. It’s indescribable. Seeing someone with messy hair in a blue flannel has never made Sana’s heart tug as it does now. Maybe it’s her voice? Her personality? Her smile? Whatever it is, she wants to solve the questions running through her.

There’s something, just something about Tzuyu that makes her different from any other person that has stumbled into Sana’s life.

  
  


* * *

She was about to leave, until she saw Mina. Walking, almost running, through the hospital doors. Momo knows that Mina saw her and she feels a bullet hit her chest. She decides on her own, to wait for Mina. No matter how long it took or how tired she is, she’s going to wait.

A talk.

That was what they needed. That was what Momo needed. She has never felt so guilty in her life, so burdened, so stressed. Mina was always there to help her whenever things like these approached her. Like when she accidentally broke Mina’s favorite mug. Momo felt so bad, even after apologizing multiple times. Mina had reassured her that it was okay and that they can both share Momo’s mug. The one with a drawing of a dinosaur on it.

This time, Momo felt like this whole thing was the mug incident but a million times worse. She knows that Mina must hate her and that more than anything, Mina doesn’t even want to see her. The brunette sits in the lobby, playing with her fingers, thinking about whether or not she’s doing the right thing.

 _Mina doesn’t want to talk with you. You’re so dumb. This is why no one likes you. You’re always doing stupid things. Grow up for once. Why don’t you just get up and go home?_ Tiny voices in her head fight each other.

She falls asleep for a bit, until she was woken up by Nayeon and her girlfriend _. They’re going to beat me up, aren’t they?_ She thinks to herself and she makes eye contact with Nayeon’s glare.

“Don’t fall asleep in public. Go home.” Jeongyeon says patting Momo’s shoulder.

Momo really didn’t mean to blurt out whatever she was thinking but it came out anyways. “I have to talk with Mina.”

Nayeon really did looked like she was about to smack Momo’s life inside out. If Jeongyeon weren’t there, she was sure that she would be dead right now.

The oldest girl crosses her arms, furrowing her brows. “Talk to her about what? Apologizing isn’t gonna work.”

“That’s all I could do though, right?” Momo’s voice was shaky, she felt like she was in a battle that she was losing. She shouldn’t have told them because now they’ll probably keep Mina away from her. I mean, who wouldn’t.

Jeongyeon sets her hand on Nayeon’s shoulder, staring softly into her eyes. It’s like they were communicating through telepathy and talking about how they want to take Momo out of the hospital and dump her far, far away. Something that they can definitely do right now since Momo is so weak and frail. It’s as if another dust particle touched her skin, she would collapse.

“Good luck.” Jeongyeon says softly, taking ahold of Nayeon’s hand and leaving Momo to be by herself.

Good luck, huh. Momo tries to keep herself awake but she finds herself dozing off every few seconds. Soon those seconds would become minutes. Minutes to hours. After about 4 hours of on and off sleeping, Momo was finally escorted out by a nurse who was strict on her going home and getting sleep. So the Japanese girl sits on a bench, waiting. She feels sick, she feels bad. She should really go home but she doesn’t have it in her.

Momo’s mind blanks out and she’s gone for what seems like an eternity.

She hears someone calling for her but the voice is so far away. So muffled.

She feels the taps on her shoulder, and a voice telling her to wake up. She can’t.

“Momo, wake up.”

A familiar voice. A tired one. A scared one?

That’s when Momo completely lets her body take over and shuts down right there. Sleep is very important for someone like her and she went almost two whole days without it. She would go to her and Sana’s apartment to shower and eat, whenever Jihyo would tell her to. The next moment, she’ll be back at the hospital, waiting for Sana to let her in without closing her eyes for too long. It’s like she was asking for death. For someone like her to neglect sleep… Momo finds it very unusual but very deserving. Getting no rest and feeling like dying does not compare to the monstrosities that she has done.

It takes her awhile, but she manages to open her eyes. It felt like several tons were added to her eyelids. The first thing she sees is the ceiling, blurred because her eyes are squinted. The orange tinted room lets Momo know that it is probably late in the daytime. She wants to shake herself awake but the comfort of the bed she’s sleeping on and the comfort of the blanket that is covering her, makes her mind go mush and all she wants to do is sleep.

The smell of the pillow and the blanket is familiar but her mind can’t process who it belongs to. She just wants to sleep and rest to her heart’s content but she forces herself to sit up. Her eyes hit the light and she winces, closing her eyes once more until some time passed and she opened them again.

The bedroom she was in was more than familiar to her and she wants to jump up. She wants to run and find Mina, wherever she is, in the apartment. She didn’t have to do all of that though, since she had turned her head and right there, in the corner, was Mina sitting on a beanbag with a book in her hands.

Staring straight at Momo.

Her head gets tangled with thoughts and she wants to do something, like get on her knees and apologize or grab Mina and hug her forever. But she can’t, because she’s too tired and too weak. Mina looked the same as she always had, it was like they didn’t have any problems at all. She was so calm and collected while Momo felt like screaming and ripping her hair out.

“How are you feeling?”

That was the first time that they have spoken, ever since that day. Mina’s soft, sweet voice echoes and bounces around Momo’s head. She can barely think of an answer.

“I-I don’t know.” It was the truth. How is she feeling right now? Tired? Sad? Anxious? Terrible?

Mina looks back at her book, her face blank. “I think you have a fever.”

“Oh.”

That’s all Momo can manage to say right now. She can feel the aura in the room grow tense and suddenly, she was full of energy. Like a wire in her brain got connected to a generator and now she’s operating again. She looks out the window, seeing the sunset with clouds scattered everywhere.

“You must be hungry.” Mina says, setting her book on the floor and getting up. Momo got up and clumsily stopped Mina before she could leave the room. Her hand gripped tightly but also softly on the younger girl’s wrist.

“I’m not hungry.” The words just come out of her mouth, “We need to talk.”

“Momo, I don’t want to talk.”

She could feel her whole heart start to shatter and the world inside of her melting.

“I know it’s going to be hard but-”

Mina shakes her head. “I don’t think th-that this is the right time.” She looks like she’s about to cry.

Momo hates it when Mina cries. She’d rather die.

“Then when will it be the right time?”

The shorter girl doesn’t answer. She turns to leave once again but Momo’s grip holds her in place. It only takes a second for Momo to pull her in for a kiss. A kiss that would spark many memories and many feelings all at once. Fireworks exploded in her head and she felt like a winner. It was the best feeling in the world.

Mina didn’t reject Momo’s tongue, causing them to be in a heated and very passionate little makeout session. Both girls stumble as they make their way to the bed, with Momo falling on her back and Mina getting on top of her, taking off her shirt.

They shower each other with soft, wet kisses. As Mina pecks delicately on the older girl’s jawline, Momo finds her hands on Mina’s hip, pulling her as close as she can.

She groans as Mina starts sucking the lower part of her neck, getting more aroused as they both become more frisky with their hands. The younger girl slides her hand down Momo’s body, pulling down her pants and slowly making her way to the most sensitive area of the body. Momo trembles at the touch, letting out a quiet moan that causes Mina to slide her fingers in. She cups Mina’s face and brings her into a kiss, moaning as she does since Mina was hitting the right places.

The only thing that Momo could think of was feeling good and making sure that Mina felt the same. Mina stops, right before the other girl could hit her peak (she has always loved teasing Momo like that), Momo gets on top, doing the things that Mina has done to her, but with much more impact. Her rhythm, her way of making it both rough and gentle at the same time. Mina probably feels like she’s going crazy.

And with so much heat and passion, all pent up in the both of them, ready to be released, they go on for the rest of the night. Kissing each other, marking each other, feeling each other. They go on until they are both equally tired.

Mina lays on top of Momo, their skin slightly sticks to one another and their breathing still heavy. The smell of cinnamon fills her nostrils as she Mina’s hair come close to her face. Once they calmed down and their breathings became silent, Mina spoke.

“I want this to last forever.”

_I do too._

_I’m bad for you though._

_I’m scared I’ll hurt you like I always do._

Momo hums in her thought. The younger girl in her arm starts sniffling. In a wild panicking manner, Momo sits up, cupping Mina’s face with her hands (it was one of the best ways to calm her down).

“Hey, hey listen to me- listen, hey.” She waits for Mina to give her full attention before speaking again. “Listen, okay?”

_Please listen._

_I mean it this time._

_I know I still love you._

“I won’t leave until you tell me to.”

It wasn’t as direct as ‘I love you’ or ‘the moon is beautiful tonight’ but Mina knew well. Momo knows that she does. The way her eyes twinkled and the way her crystal tears fell.

_Did I get through to you?_

_Do you trust me?_

_I understand if you don’t want it to be this way._

Mina opens her mouth but nothing comes out. She presses her lips, as if to stop more tears from coming.

“S-Sana…”

Momo’s heart sinks after hearing that name. She wants to forget Sana, even if it were only momentarily. It’s about her and Mina right now. Not Sana. She doesn’t want Sana in the image anymore.

Shaking her head, she speaks. “I’ll do better for you. You just have to trust me.”

“I’ve always trusted you…”

Momo does her best to not cry right there. She has realized that she’s always been babied and treated right by Mina. The girl is an angel, a goddess in human form, and Momo doesn’t realize it until now. She knows that she has been treating Mina wrong.

“Trust me for real this time.” Words get stuck in her throat. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

Momo wipes away Mina’s tears with her thumb and slightly squishes her cheek (it was a way of telling Mina that everything will be alright).

“I just want you… to myself.”

_I can do that._

_I swear I can._

_Just don’t tell me to leave._

“I’m all yours.”

  
  


* * *

Mina eyes open slowly as it adjusts to the light in the room. It’s probably way too early in the morning but her internal clock tells her it’s time to drink coffee. For a second, she tries to get up until she realizes that her legs were tangled with someone elses and a pair of arms were wrapped around her waist.

Momo.

She’s still hurt and indifferent about their little “make-up”. Not knowing whether or not she’s walking into a trap again but being the forgiving person she is, she accepts her fate. When the older girl had given her word, Mina pledged to herself that if she gets screwed over again, that she would cut Momo out of her life as soon as possible.

Turning around to face Momo, she lays for a while, admiring the girl in her sleep like she always does. Unlike the other times, she doesn’t cry. She mind and heart doesn’t feel quite defeated. Not yet. And she hopes it’ll never be that way too.

She moves her face closer to Momo’s, till their noses are touching. Mina can be talking at with an inside voice for hours and hours and Momo would still be asleep (she discovered this in the beginning of the relationship). Sometimes, the young Japanese girl would lay awake, showering Momo with kisses and softly pinching her cheeks.

_I love you._

_So much._

_Don’t leave me ever again._

She makes their lip meet briefly, pulling away when her senses remind her about her craving for coffee. As quietly and undisturbing as she could, she manages to slide out of Momo’s arms and separate their legs. Mina heads to the kitchen wearing only a t-shirt and underwear. Momo’s shirt to be exact. 

She’s pretty sure that the smell of coffee woke Momo up, because she can hear her dragging her feet to out of the bedroom. She firmly holds the warm mug (Momo's dinosaur mug) in her hand, waiting to be greeted by her teddy bear.

“Morning, baby.”

Mina melts, smiling at the sight of Momo and her messy hair. “Good morning.”

Arms snake around Mina’s waist and Momo’s head rests on her shoulder. It was moments like these that made her extremely happy. She’d die over and over again just to keep them like this for a second longer.

“What’re your plans for the day?” Momo asks, pulling Mina closer to her.

“Visiting Dahyun.” The younger girl pauses, taking a sip of her coffee. “And you?”

“I’ll stay here or something.”

“You’re not going to visi-”

“No.” Momo’s voice was firm. “I’m hated by everyone in that hospital.”

Mina is suddenly reminded of her best friend, who had offered to stay overnight in the hospital. “Chaeyoung is going to eat us both alive when she finds out about us.”

Momo hums. “She’s going to beat me up again.”

“I won’t let her.”

“No, let me get beat up. I deserve it.” She kisses Mina’s jawline. “Just patch me up, yeah?”

The both giggle and Momo lets go of her girl, letting her hands linger on the waist for a moment. Mina watches as she heads to the fridge return back to the counter with a jar of jelly in her hand.

“You’re so weird.” Momo says, as she reaches in one of the cabinets for peanut butter. “People who keep jelly in their fridge are weird.”

Mina suppresses her grin, a small wave of happiness washing over her.

Maybe, just maybe.

It can work out again.

  
  


* * *

“I feel very weak.” Dahyun tells Jihyo as the nurses help her sit up. “It’s super hard to move.”

Jihyo nods, scribbling more notes onto her clipboard. “I think I can handle the patient by myself now. Thank you.” She dismisses the nurses, who all leaves simultaneously, leaving the patient and doctor alone.

She looks at Dahyun who looks like she wants to tear off her wires and run away.

“This will take years.”

Jihyo wants to laugh, but keeps her face straight. “No, months.” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a tiny chocolate bar. “Mina told me you love chocolate so I brought you what I can.”

Dahyun stares blankly at the doctor’s hand. She doesn’t speak but shakes her head.

“C’mon. It won’t interfere with your medications.” Jihyo begins to unwrap the silver cover of the chocolate. She brings it to Dahyun’s mouth and pops it in once the girl opens it.

“Thank you.” The girl says after chewing and swallowing. “Do you think they’ll let me eat noodles?”

“By they, you probably mean me. I’m the doctor looking over you.”

“Noodles?”

She giggles. “Yes. It’s best for you to get some carbs in you. You need all the energy you can get.” Jihyo grabs a chair and sits down, with her clipboard in her lap. “Any other questions?”

“When can I leave the hospital?”

“Whenever I say so.”

Dahyun’s scowls. “You know what I mean.”

Jihyo laughs, looking down at her clipboard. “Yeah I do.” She pauses to regain composure. “Most likely a month or two if you set your mind to it.”

They go on for another hour, with Dahyun asking her questions and Jihyo answering. Whether it be questions about the food she can eat or her recovery, Dahyun asks away. Jihyo finds out that Dahyun is really good at masking her pain and worries.

“I keep having nightmares.”

That wasn’t a question, but a statement, and Jihyo didn’t know how to answer it.

Dahyun continues. “It sucks. I don’t want to have nightmares like these for the rest of my life.”

Trauma.

Jihyo was expecting this. For both Dahyun and Sana, but it appears only Dahyun is affected. To Sana it was like a light tap, but Dahyun’s was a big slap to the face.

“That’s what we’ll work on too. Making sure you’re recovering physically and mentally.” She smiles. “I’m sure you’re willing to give us your cooperation?”

The girl nods, her face as pale as ever. “Yes. Please take good care of me.”

“Don’t worry.”

**Author's Note:**

> oops, didn't think i would end it like that. next part is the last part (hopefully) and will be up before february (hopefully). thank you for reading, -mani


End file.
